Alexainie, the other day when I wrote this, I didn’t think it was all that different than any of my other stories. It wasn’t until I read your words that I could feel the sadness. And it wasn’t until very recently that I feel how much I missed out on a loving relationship with a father.
I’m sorry you don’t have a loving, accepting father either, but I’m happy for you that you have a good relationship with your mother. I didn’t. As soon as I began to disrespect her, I loved her less and less until there was no more love at all. She probably didn’t deserve that from me because she was warm and caring, but the fact that she never protected me hurt. In my relationships I have found that when the respect is gone, the relationship is over.
About being afraid that your father would do something irrational to your mother if he was to find out you were sharing your stories, I say, take care of yourself. I can talk big about that because my parents are both gone now ;)