And you may never have answers, dearest Soraya. He may not even know the answers. You must at some point decide that for some things in life there will be no answers. Does anyone know why some babies are born with no sight? Does anyone know why a healthy five-year-old child goes to school one day and is part of a maniac’s plan to destroy her and her whole classroom? Does anyone know why a car crash takes the father but spares his pregnant wife sitting beside him? There is a fellow Medium writer who has lost her husband after many beautiful years of wedded bliss. She had the kind of relationship that you have wished for but has lost it. Why? Why? Why do these tragic events happen? There is no answer. You are not the entire reason that this man lost his job. You are not the reason he cannot love you. You are not even the infinite answer of why he fell in love with you.
You may never understand. And chances are you won’t. Please, please, Soraya, let your friends and the professionals help you to realize your value to the point where you can be in charge of yourself again. Please, please believe me when I tell you that you will be “whole” again with a collective effort.