I’m self-centered, and I won’t apologize for being that way. Maybe self-centered isn’t the right word. Self-caring is more accurate. I wish I had been more so sooner in life. Now, at my age, I feel I’ve earned the right to do what I want when I want to do it without guilt or a long string of justifications, and that goes double for any romantic relationships.
I’ve been married three times and had plenty of long-term relationships which lasted from one to three years. I have always been the one to walk away. And each time I did so, I was relieved because I was already “done” before I left. I liked my time alone so much that I needed time to recuperate from the last relationship. Then after about six or seven months, I’d be excited about finding someone new. Once I went two years by myself with only a date here and there, and then I couldn’t wait until I was back home so I could be by myself again. I remember one date with a very nice guy, but at the end of the evening I jumped up and down and screamed with relief as soon as I walked in the door!
Five years ago, I left my third husband and knew it was time to call it quits on trying to find “the one.” Well, actually I was feeling that I had found “the one” in myself… ha! I hadn’t dated at all, and I’d been telling everyone that I am done, done. Forever done. Done forever. I absolutely love being by myself. I am never lonely when I’m alone. Actually, I can be…
