Julia B, I’m sorry for what you’ve been through. I also could not breast feed. I had two premature babies — one who didn’t yet have a sucking reflex. I pumped, and my milk was gavage fed to her through a tube until she could suck. However, she was used to getting her milk easily by then through a bottle and didn’t have the patience for my breast. I still tried, but at six weeks I gave up because the pumping was keeping my blood pressure up.
I wasn’t judged, but perhaps that was because not as many mothers were nursing in 1983 as they are now.