Danna, I definitely do not live in LA and have never been there.
Dennett
1362

Let me begin by saying that I find your story very engaging and well written, but I have to wonder what your primary goal is in writing this story. If it is simply to describe the irritating behaviors of your friend, you have succeeded. However, I suspect that your intent is something else altogether. As a reader, I find your descriptions harsh and unkind; although, again I feel you have genuine affection for her. The best part of your story is not what she does that is so irritating but what it is that the two of you share that is strong enough to forge a bond that lasted so many years in spite of the irritations. You did a fine job of describing Evelyn as a difficult person, but she deserves more than that. If I could offer what I hope will be received as a positive criticism, I would love to read this story with an ending that more clearly describes those qualities about your friend that are stronger than her irritating quirks and that have caused the friendship to last over the years and even grow in spite of the unwelcome behaviors you describe.