My response to this is going to be different than most. I’m assuming you don’t live in Los Angeles by the tone of this story, because if you did, you would not find Evelyn’s conduct exceptional at all. In fact, you wouldn’t be writing about Evelyn — you’d be writing about the non Jews who are too timid to ask for the booth or the window table, feeling they don’t deserve it or they don’t want to be a nuisance. Evelyn’s behavior is so typical of the affluent in Los Angeles. I grew up in Beverly Hills. I know.
Evelyn’s sense of entitlement is pretty standard among wealthy Jews. No housekeeper? Very unusual. In West Los Angeles almost everyone has a live-in housekeeper. But the people I know do not shop sales or complain about the price of things. They buy designer clothes and are willing to spend what they have on fine dining establishments and fancy hotels.
From what you’ve written here, It seems that Evelyn has been a loyal friend to you when others were not. Enjoy her for who she is — - unconventional behavior and all, and do not disparage her behind her back. If you are troubled by going out with her in public, why not have your monthly luncheons in the privacy of your own homes. I think you owe your “friend” Evelyn an apology.