“It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live. “— Marcus Aurelius
Many people nowadays speed through life without satisfaction, purpose, or second thoughts. Degree after degree, job after job, relationship after relationship — and we still aren’t happy. We dedicate our entire lives to climbing the ranks, earning money, caring about how others perceive us, and chasing whatever would make us look good rather than what we believe is good for us. We plan, scheme, and hope for things in the future, but never take time to slow down and enjoy the present. We have all these materialistic things at our disposal, a comfortable standard of living, hundreds of connections and relationships online and in person, and yet we still are not content with our lives.
But what if that was all about to be taken away? What if, say, you were diagnosed with cancer and were given a single year to live? The things you take for granted like family, close friends, and a moment of peace suddenly become important — and the things you believe are “important” in life like your image, social media, money, career, and status suddenly seem pretty insignificant. You begin to value happiness and joy, peace and contentment. You stop caring what others think about you and give up courting their attention to satisfy your deep seated insecurity of not being liked or popular. You start to live in the present rather than obsessing about the future. The future is death. That’s it. No need to obsess and plan. The Prince and the Pauper will both eventually perish into nothingness. Or go to heaven or hell, depending on your beliefs — but either way, the things you’ve obsessively pursued in your life will seem gravely (pun intended) insignificant.
But why do you have to be at the brink of death in order to think that way?
You don’t. Buddhist monks often contemplate death in their meditation as a way to stimulate internal thought of what truly matters for living a purposeful life. You can too. You start to strip away all the tangibles, the expectations, and the obsessions — and begin to focus on your values, freedom, and clarity of purpose. You begin to reevaluate why you are doing what you are doing. You engage in contemplation of whether or not you are truly experiencing what life has to offer and doing what is actually impactful. Death gives true meaning to life. All you need to do… is think about your death.
Death gives true meaning to life…
This past year I began questioning things. I was questioning why I kept chasing things that did not make me happy. I was asking myself why I felt so miserable and ended up dissatisfied despite my clear-cut purpose in life. I was puzzled when I tried to discover why I felt so burnt out all the time.
Then I came to a revelation — I began contemplating my eventual death, and it has made all the difference in allowing me to understand what is truly important in life. I realized that while I was charging full speed ahead to try to satisfy my cravings for success, relationships, and professional development, I never had time to enjoy the simple pleasures of life. Enjoying a moment of peace and quiet. Reading a book. Having a deep conversation with an old friend. Reflecting on how far I’d come. Sharing a meal with my parents. Writing a narrative. Serving at a local soup kitchen. Not really caring that others are doing “bigger and better” than what I am doing.
This is why I am deciding to take a gap year before medical school. The obsession of getting ahead of your peers or keeping up with the pack will eventually consume you and lead you to have a miserable life. True, if I kept gunning, I would be able to realize my dreams a whole year earlier (WOW!) and start off my career “on time”. But in the grand scheme of things, does it matter if I become a doctor at age 26 versus age 27? No. Will I remember that I was a year behind my peers and not on the well-worn path? Not really. Will I miss anything that the class the year before me will experience? Probably not.
What I will remember are all of the experiences I will gain while traveling, writing, and working, the relationships I will develop along the way, and the lessons that will I learn on my path to maturity — which scientists say continues until age 25. What will matter is slowing things down for my overall mental health — I don’t want to start the medical pipeline completely exhausted and burnt out. What I will not miss is an opportunity to explore the world, find my passions, develop relationships, and become a better human — once I commit to the pipeline, there will be no such time to explore and no such ability to fully develop myself as a person.
My future patients deserve a mature and rested caretaker, not a burnt out and miserable worker bee who never got the chance to truly experience what life has to offer before selling its soul into a system of unending responsibilities. I’ll cherish the moments of clarity and peace, embrace the freedom from others’ expectations and judgements, and reflect with quiet satisfaction that I decided to do what I value — not what matters to others. I’ll determine what contributions I would like to offer to the world, solidify the core values that I stand for, and take the time to discover, truly, what I am here on Earth to accomplish. I will only get one shot at this, so I need to slow things down to ensure that my aim is true — I want to make sure that I live with intent. The biggest tragedy I can face is if I never even start living. These are the things that truly matter once you’ve thought about your death.
So contemplate your impending departure from this world. Then think twice about why you are doing what you are doing and evaluate what kind of life you want to live before you die. Only after a brush with death do you truly start living… But to each their own, for we all will eventually vanish into thin air.
