AstroMuse: A felt experience on the Libra-Aries Nodal Axis
The thing about cycling through depression is its uniquely blunt clench of mundane repetition. When I’m stuck in depression, the world all happens TO me, my distrust in myself is paramount, and I find myself doomed to a kind of nightmarish Groundhog Day.
More peculiar still, when caught in depression, I can usually see its exit sign and even know the directions out. Yet talk of motivation or willpower in this condition is senseless because these terms assume a level of attachment on my part to the ideas I represent. The truth is that I’ve spent so much of my focus this lifetime dismantling and exposing the chance chimera that is my persona that I’ve grown sick of my self-empowerment altogether!
Now, how to put myself together again, to rediscover my own inherent worth that I so readily permit others? Why participate in life, when I’ve conjured and ingrained so many ill-informed reasons to give up?
At its core, I’ve found my own answer to “why go on?” to be a different type of surrender than we’re used to imagining. If I were to surrender to life in conventional terms, it wouldn’t be in the aura of acceptance, but rather a renouncement of my very autonomy within nature’s grand cycles. Some days feel like this and I’m not proud of them.
But most of the time I’m able to take solace in this great Truth: Whether or not I give up on my life has no bearing on my larger life’s end-result: nature will carry me on as energy, as soul, no matter my relationship to it in this particular incarnation. The physics of my soul could never give up on Danny; so what difference would it ultimately make for Danny to flail temporarily, giving up on himself?
Why not surrender to the inevitability of my continuous becoming?
Here I laugh at myself for using pointlessness as a kind of justification for living life instead of refuting or escaping it. The walking paradox suits me after all: It’s upon this embodied awareness that I can laugh at myself again and resume being present in the moment on Earth.
How can we possibly stomach the two opposing truths that we are caught unwittingly in the fractal universe, and that we somehow have the personal responsibility to evolve ourselves therein? I never asked to be a human being!!! But somewhere along the way I must have asked, and it would obviously serve me at this juncture to rediscover + reembody my innate spark to participate here in the first place.
Indeed, I see the reflection of this journey in the integration of my South Node in Libra with my North Node in Aries. Libra inherently knows that any node is incomplete without its partner; and Aries screams for its primal spark of life to be recovered. I suppose leading with my Ascendant at 2° Gemini could be my soul’s way of recognizing the need to spend my life harmonizing opposites.
Can you hear nature’s cycles and hope for harmony in the music?
Whether we choose to see life’s cycles as incessant or dazzling quite literally depends on our lens. So why not do the work of personal healing to have ours be the lens of miracles? We can only choose to start exactly where we already are.
Danny Lampton is a Musician, Astrologer, EFT practitioner, Media Activist, Impact Investor, and Heart Opener. His band + business, The Light & The Weight, is his vessel on a mission to Reclaim the Soul in our Systems & Light in our Shadows.