Creating is weird.
Sometimes I just sit there. All day. Nothing to do, nothing to say. I put so much pressure on myself to make something meaningful for everyone else that nothing ever happens. This seems like a common experience for writers and other creators. I say that as if I’m a writer — ha! This is my second “article”, if you could call it that, in maybe… 3 years? Does that make me a writer? If so, then I’m a writer. Otherwise, I’m just a guy pushing buttons as his mind wanders.
Actually, I prefer to identify with the latter. If I were a writer, this would have to be good. Instead, it doesn’t matter. That is the second time I have rhymed without intending it. I’ll take that as a good sign. But if you didn’t think I was self-conscious enough to notice it, you thought wrong.
I feel that the struggle I feel is pretty universal. As is your struggle, even if it’s different than mine. Creating is a lonely pursuit. Even when you have a team around you, the responsibility to do your shit is yours alone. And when you’re a writer, or an artist, or a lone wolf, well… then you just start to feel crazy. But that crazy feeling is universal too. If someone hasn’t felt crazy, they probably haven’t tried doing something new and different. And yet “trying” might be the pitfall in the first place. Ever experienced beginner’s luck? You don’t know what you’re doing, so you don’t even know how to “try”. And then it just works. And then you try again, and you suck. Stop trying. Start pushing buttons, drawing lines, playing with clay or space or other people. Stop worrying whether it’s good or not. It’s good because you did it, and it’s done.