Start writing already
I put way too much pressure on the written word. To the point that I’ve not written anything longer than a Facebook post in years. I usually just stick to 4 or 5 words on an index card. Little messages to myself or others that I thumbtack to my wall or share through this thing called bARTer. Make an art card, take an art card. Sometimes I have difficulty seeing my writings as art. I am blessed to have very talented visual artists in my life. Sometimes that makes me feel small.
Sometimes it doesn’t matter what you write, so long as you’re pushing buttons or pushing ink. Sometimes some pretty cool stuff comes out. Right now I am refusing my favorite procrastination/self-flagellation technique of spending 30 minutes searching for the perfect word. The perfect word is the one I’m writing now. Or not. Fuck it!
I don’t really know if I see myself as a writer or not. I see several different roles that I could play, several forms that my art could take. Writing, web designing, ideating, moderating, connecting, umm… and others. I am not known for my decisiveness. In some ways I feel stuck. That I’ve waited too long to become really good at anything. Of course that’s ridiculous. I just… still can’t make up my mind.
What I do know is that my mind thinks in words. Some of you might say, “uhh obvi” but ask most visual artists and they will say their mind sees images. Sometimes this makes me think there’s some part of my brain I’m not using. And that maybe I should practice visual imagining so I can be a real artist or activate my third eye. But maybe I just have a third ear. Maybe that’s always going to be my strongest connection to the universe. And maybe that means I should keep writing.