You and I will both have our own thoughts on the ‘First Week of University’
Here’s mine…
I started Manchester as a lad from Surrey, a nervous, insecure wreck, hoping to make friends, all very confused and lost.
My mother nestled me into halls with enough appliances to fuel a Michelin Star Restaurant and plenty of utterly irrelevant shit (Pillows, lots and lots of pillows, I insisted one would do the trick, but she persisted that more the merrier).
My pillow infested room faced the dining hall, like David Attenborough I had the perfect hiding spot to see the new breed of species I was about to mingle with.
Peering out my window, I was completely flabbergasted!!
Edgy troopers and their Edgy march (you know, the I-bun-weed-and-dont-give-a-fuck-walk) bowling into the dining hall.
I entered the dining hall.
Dinner:
I sat over my underwhelming Chilli con Carne, peering out over the lunch hall like a ferret…
I was amazed, these edgy folk even ATE in a different manner, using rice, salad and garlic bread as their base. Chilli Con Carne rising upwards, a piece of utterly beautiful architecture, Stoner Pyramids of Food.
In a Surrey accent, I tried to sound Edgy, Hood or Street “Raaaaaah deeeze man are baaakeeddd too” (before you ask, I didn’t do it justice)
Desert:
Once the dinner was demolished, time for desert: A Golden Virginia Roll up with an icing of “Yahh bro fancy a spliff of weed and hash and skunk?”
(I began to clock this ‘Edgy’ bollocks was just a front).
A few weeks passed….
I began to see that ‘normal’ people, well people I perceived as normal were starting to wear extremely weird clothes. Maybe something similar happened to you at University? The feeling of I don’t think I’m going to fit in?
There was a stringent dress code to be allowed into the Edgy Community and everyone was lapping it up…everyone was conforming to the edgy rule book.
Boys:
- A 90’s Football shirt (the more colours, the more edgy, do the math.)
- Reebok classics- White or Black is mandatory. But to take the edginess to a new level, ensure they are scuffed up- let people know, ‘Yes, I was at a rave this weekend and YES I did attend an afters’
- A workers coat- For some reason edgy people have a fascination with the Industrial Revolution.BIG UP BIG UP
- Signet rings- Family’s been edggggyyyyyyyysinceeeeee Daaaayyy Fam.
Girls:
- Camouflage EVERYTHING- Trousers, Jackets, T- shirts you name it, its camouflage (perhaps an act of defiance, born out of sheer grief, indignant to the fact they were never allowed to play with Action Man growing up, a two fingers up to the ‘C’mon Barbie lets go party!’
- Baggy trousers — again just like the edgy lads, throw back to the Industrial revolution.
- Nike Air Force Ones– (got this off Wikipedia- Nike Air Force 1s were originally considered the favoured shoe of inner-city youth, especially in Harlem, New York; hence the nickname “Uptowns”) — Ahhhh that explains it then!
- “I can sing a Rainbow Bbarnet’s” — Red and yellow and pink and green/Purple and Orange and Blue/ I can sing a rainbow/ Sing a rainbow — again perhaps this is uncovering some truths of a deprived childhood, trying to cling it back by dying their barnett?? But who am I to judge?
I was sat amongst my pillows in my box of a room in halls…
‘HAAAAAAAANG ON A SECOND, I’m missing something here’
*Straight on the blower to my Dad.*
‘Afternoon Dad,
‘I NEED YOU TO TRANSFER me some MONEY. RIGHT NOW!
‘I’m changing my look, I NEED friends, think Pete Doherty, Rolf Harris and a bit of Morrissey, that’ll do the trick’
‘Calm… safe’
‘What????!!’
‘Sorry,’
‘I meant Thanks, Goodbye!!’
Off to town I popped feeling very insecure and out of place, but I needed to conform with the edgy gang. I needed friends.
Carhartt Jacket from Charity Shop- Check
Pair of Black Reeboks- Check
Checkered Baggy Shirt- Check
Some dodgy ring from Topman (lol) –Check
Angry Satan Tattoo on my neck- ‘ISSSS THIS EDGYYY ENOUGH FOR YAAAAAAAAAA, YA FUCKING MUGSSSS????’ –
Fuck Me. What was I thinking. That was in a basement at a house party/rave. The edgy pout as well- hahaha the “Yo, I’m edgy yeh, if your not edgy, don’t even communicate with me, like seriously… get back in your non-edgy pen you pagan!” yeh that look. Oh my god so embarrassing.
Anyway…
Judging by the edgy plague that spread through the streets of Manchester (now I could be completely wrong) but… the change in dress sense, make me think… You and I, We, feel very insecure and worried about fitting in. Therefore we conform with the ‘norm’, wear weird clothes, don weird barnets, talk in weird ways- due to fear of looking like the Odd One Out.
Your first week could have been completely different…
Perhaps if you went to Leeds, Newcastle- you may have been in the same boat as me?
Perhaps if you went to Bath, or Exeter- you’d feel a sudden urge to pop into Chinos and Boat shoes?
Perhaps if you went to Nottingham or Brookes- a Canada Goose Jacket would be first on your list?
Perhaps if you went to Derby, Preston or Sunderland- a Knife and a Bottle of Frosty Jack would be required?
Just like we conform with the way we look, we conform in the lecture theatre, in the business school, in the economics departments, humanities, same shit different name in my opinion.
We conform to a dream… a dream sold to us… The 2.1. Dream.
Why?
Anxiety, fear, depression of being the Odd One Out if we don’t get a 2.1.
What is the 2.1. Dream?
Business schools sell us ‘The 2.1. Dream’ and they do a pretty damn good job of it.
The sales pitch goes a little something like this…
Get yourself a 2.1. and life will be rosy; orange sunrises as you pick up your morning Latte (if you’r still edgy, ’Soy Milk please’),
You’ll be a Corporate King dining at fancy restaurants,
You’ll be dressed like a Corporate Knight, suited and booted in designer garms
You’ll ride your Super Car chariots around
You’ll have a fat castle, pool and 6 bedrooms
You’ll holiday in Ibiza, St. Tropez, Marbella.
Pretty good sales pitch I’m not going to lie to ya.
We all want the above and we feel anxious, insecure and fearful if we don’t get the 2.1. we don’t get the dream. So we conform, we do what the University tells us to do, we spend x amount of money on outdated books, redundant and irrelevant learning- JUST TO GET A 2.1. TO GET THE DREAM.
Who wants and tells you to get a 2.1. ?
The large Corporations and Universities work like Batman and Robin to sell you this dream.
Why?
They want workers to fuel their factory. But they want ‘good workers’, they demand workers with a 2.1.
They prey on our insecurities and get us to conform (just like wearing edgy clothes).
We all conform and chase the 2.1. dream. I chased it so hard, to the point where I almost got a first, 68.8%. As soon as I got there it was completely hollow, I had chased that dream for no reason, a waste of time and waste of money!
There are 532,300 people entered UK higher education in 2015, guess what all of them want a 2.1. because they want the 2.1. Dream.
The End of University and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory:
We get our 2.1.
We go chanting to the Corporate Chocolate Factory- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TW_xGlL1XOc
‘I’VE GOOOOOOT AAAAA GOOOOOOOOLDEN TICKET’
‘I’ve got a Golden Twinkle in my eye’
‘Look at me Willyyyyyy I’VE GOT A GOOOOLDEN TICKET’’
‘LOOOK AT MY C.V. WILLY, LOOK IT! LOOK IT! 2.1. 2.1 2.1!!!’
We think we are unique, we think we are special because we got a 2.1.
The golden ticket is not so golden, when 532,000 people all have golden tickets.
Getting a 2.1. does not make you stand out, and does not make you achieve the business dream, again because 532,000 people are chasing it.
We are all just corporate Oompa Loompas, making chocolate coins for large corporations, all nestled into a wonderfully built building, one could say like a Chocolate Factory, its all there to uphold the dream, to keep the dream alive.
I mean seriously look at this….
Swap out a Green wig for a short back and sides. Swap out some weird white overall thing, for a long winter coat. Swap out the striped thing around the Umpa Lumpa’s neck with a tie. There you have it the 2.1. Dream sold hook, line and sinker.
How does the 2.1. Dream turn into a Harrowing nightmare?
As with most sales pitch’s… you want to leave out the some of the nitty gritty bits.
Apple don’t sell you an iPhone saying, btw if you go a nightclub, get on the beers and drop it, you’ll 99% of the time have a cracked screen- instead they show you the sexy bits.
Diet plans don’t sell you the, btw this is going to be really fucking hard, you’ll probably, cry, get angry, get hungry….No, no, no- instead they show you the sexy bits, get this body in 12 weeks, all happy white smiles and bronzed bodies.
Corporations and business schools- sell you the sexy side, holidays, cars, lunches etc… Now please allow me to expose the nitty gritty bits…
-You’ll have to be in the office at 6.30am
-You’ll probably hate some of the people you work with- but will spend MOST of your life with them, in fact 5 out of 7 days.
-You’ll have to listen to orders from someone who makes infinitely more money than you, but you will obey as he/she will install the 2.1. Dream in you, that one day you’ll get to his/her position
-You’ll get unbearably stressed due to lack of sleep, lack of seeing friends and EMAIL!
-You’ll have to wear the same thing every day, an uncomfortable straight jacket- but because its from Armani or Gucci it’s not an issue.
-You’ll have to keep taking exams, long after University is finished, the FCA, the RICS, — want the 2.1. dream? More exams to come.
-You’ll have to get on a train everyday surrounded by people you don’t know, squeezed in like battery Chickens, gasping for air.
-If you earn money, You have two days to be free, on those days you’ll get completely intoxicated to forget about the previous 5 days, then before you know it- 6.06am train to Waterloo.
What can we do about the 2.1. Dream?
You may reading this (if still at Uni) thinking ‘Bloody hell, its all doom and gloom’
– I can’t offer some extravagant solution, but I can say this…
If I could re-wind back to 12 months ago… when all that was on my mind was a 2.1…and I could say to myself ‘Pope chill the fuck out and listen up’ (perhaps this may help you too)
- Do still go and work your hardest to get a 2.1.- it will put you in a good routine, self-discipline, working hard, being your own manager.
- Once you get a 2.1. realise you did it for YOU, not for a large corporation.
- Be aware Universities and Corporations are trying to sell you a dream, and realise dreams are not reality.
- Be aware of conforming to the 2.1. Dream, like wearing edgy clothes, everyone is doing it, you’re not standing out, you’re not being yourself.
- Use your 2.1. to your advantage, not to the corporations who want cheap workers so that CEO’s can make loads of money.
- This is the most important one, realise that entrepreneurship and working for start ups is a viable alternative to the corporate death train.
When you and I first think of ‘entrepreneurship’, straight away loads of money, big houses, big cars, Branson and Musk.
But it is much deeper than that…
It’s a desire to be free. To work when we want, to follow our passion, so no day ever feels like work. Once you have a passion something magical happens.
Your passion doesn’t clock in at 9 and clock out at 5.
Your passion is with you 24/7.
You passion doesn’t need an hour long train journey to suddenly kick into action.
Your passion is always there.
When your passion is with you 24/7, you work double the amount of anyone. When you work double the amount of anyone, guess what you earn more money. But not one hour will ever feel like ‘work’, its an easy situation to be in.
If you have any questions, subscribe to my email list and ping me an email, I am no guru, expert or saint… but I can offer you everything I know (so far) on entrepreneurship, following your passion and books to read.
NICE ONE. Please comment if you thought it was good, let man know what to write about next.
