Gollum: Dating Apps, Demons, and Parasitic Processing
What is Parasitic Processing?
Parasitic processing is a phrase used by University of Toronto cognitive scientist John Vervaeke. It’s most useful in describing addictions. But it can also extend to patterns of behavior which are not normally considered addictions. In parasitic processing, there’s a negative part of a person’s identity, often self-identified, which uses the totality of the person — their real, full identity — for its dark aims.
It is parasitic, in how the parasite identity latches onto the host identity. Someone addicted to heroin, has parasitic processing around heroin. The parasite will use the totality of the person for heroin. The parasite doesn’t even care if the host dies. Even though, that will be the end of the parasite. The parasite will still use the host, at the expense of the person’s totality.
Demons and Parasitic Processing
Orthodox icon-carver Jonathan Pageau, not only agrees with Vervaeke’s phrase, but the two of them speak about parasitic processing and demons, as being the same thing. Pageau uses ancient cosmology, and Vervaeke uses cognitive science, but whether they use the phrase parasitic processing, or demons, the two men agree it’s the same concept being expressed.
A demon latches onto a person, and is willing to destroy the totality of the person to achieve the demon’s aims. Jokingly, secular people use the word demon all the time. Because they understand that whatever a demon is — whether metaphorical, metaphysical, or both — a demon drives an addiction. So, the word demon becomes the best way to describe the addiction; although, parasitic processing also works.
There’s a recognition that a dark power is behind the behavior. Both phrases highlight the feeling the addict has, of losing control over his or her real identity. There’s a general sense, that the addict isn’t being themselves and needs help from others to eliminate the parasite. So parasitic processing is a useful phrase, especially for people who don’t like the word demon.
Gollum and Addiction
A great example of parasitic processing, is in J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings. Frodo, and to a larger extent Gollum, both carry a demon. Frodo carries the One Ring, which he aims to destroy — a ring Gollum held for untold ages, and the only thing Gollum cares about.
The word “golem,” in Jewish folklore, refers to clay which is given life. Golem is used in Psalms 139:16, and throughout the Talmudic literature, to refer to an incomplete substance. The clay is made into a human-like figure, but remains a slave to its master. That’s what Gollum is, in The Lord of the Rings. It’s what parasitic processing is; it’s what having a demon is; and it’s what happens to some people who use dating apps.
The weight of the One Ring literally grows heavier on Frodo’s neck. It becomes the only thing he can think about. It takes away all of his energy. He constantly checks on the One Ring, to make sure it’s safe — even though it’s on him, like a phone, always occupying his thoughts. The more he uses it, the more he needs it; like an addict. And Gollum only cares about the One Ring. Because Gollum had it before Frodo, for a long time, so Gollum thinks of nothing else.
Gollum is the result of parasitic processing. Gollum used to be a Hobbit, the same race as Frodo. But now, Gollum is just a skeletal figure — hiding in the shadows, eating what he can scavenge. He has no care for his betterment, his life, or others. He only wants the One Ring, even if it costs him his life. He is a complete addict, like someone who uses dating apps too much. Because the apps themselves, are designed to provoke and encourage addict-like behavior.
Addiction and Dating Apps
Business-wise, people need to be kept on the app. Then, the developers will make more money in ad revenue. And maybe a person will even pay to use the app’s premium features, which will likely increase his or her use of the app. Plus, if lots of people are on the app in a given city, the more the app seems like a real way to find a date — even to people who don’t use the app, but hear about it from friends. However, the app itself leads to a demonic, addictive, downward spiral.
It’s all about more, for both the developers and the addict. The app even pushes out notifications, for almost any in-app activity. So, the One Ring grows heavier in one’s pocket, always intruding more into one’s thoughts. Soon, a person makes time-decisions to be available to use the app. Instead of a productive night, or a night with loved ones, or just a night which will leave you with a clear conscience — use the One Ring.
Dating Apps and Loss of Identity
The app’s parasitic process destroys the person’s real identity, which the app needs for its own existence — more on that later. The user now has a public persona, throughout the city, which is used to attract a partner. Yet, the persona starts to take over the person’s real identity. That’s true of any social media, but worse with dating apps; because of the romantic or lust-inspired reasons for using the app. Those reasons make the use of the app more embarrassing.
Eventually, a person might even avoid social outings, because of the shame of being in public — caused by being openly involved with lust. One starts to think of themselves as the profile and not the person. The demon attacks the soul it needs, for the demon’s own existence to manifest in the world, while the person slowly turns into Gollum. The user starts to hide in the shadows, only caring about the One Ring.
He or she starts to think more about the next notification ring, and less about life. The app is a substance-less drug, which causes parasitic processing. The parasite destroys the host.
The only escape — is to delete the app. The person must throw the One Ring in the fires of Mount Doom, to vanquish the demon.
In doing so, the person actually damages the app itself. Because now there is one less soul available for dates, lust, and ad revenue. So in a sense, the app even unleashes a parasitic process on itself, when the addict escapes with his or her totality.
Because then, the app loses a piece of its identity.
Vampires and the Garden of Eden
Matthieu Pageau, author of The Language of Creation, speaks about how Adam’s role is to name the animals in the Garden of Eden. (Matthieu’s ideas, where referenced, are paraphrased.) Essentially, Adam takes knowledge, and imparts meaning, onto reality. However, Eve is not an animal named by Adam. She is named by God, and her role is to be a mirror for Adam.
She shows Adam his blind spots. The name Eve, means helper-against-me. She is a mirror for Adam. Eve listens to the wider world, and points out where Adam’s naming is wrong. She helps to renew Adam, especially when Adam’s naming might lead him, and her, down a dark path. Eve renews Adam, so Adam is not exiled from Paradise.
True renewal, for Adam, is to have Eve, who Adam does not control. She is a mirror for Adam — a way for Adam to see himself, and see where his imposition of meaning is wrong. However, a vampire, Matthieu says on Dan Sherven Interviews, is someone who wants to have control over the process of renewal.
So a vampire, wants to name Eve like an animal. He wants Eve to be subservient to him, and for him to have dominion over her. It is interesting, Matthieu says, that a vampire cannot see himself in a mirror.
That is what happens to successful men on dating apps.
There are so many choices, of women, that a successful man can begin to only interact with women who are willing to be named animals, and not real women. Rather than have an equal, but asymmetrical partner, who is willing to be a mirror and help the man in the renewal of his ideas, the vampire can drink the blood of something he completely controls.
Vampires are creatures of the night, weakened by the sunlight, much like successful men on dating apps. Vampires also infect those they feed on, and turn those named animals into vampires themselves. There is a loss of identity, when a person becomes a vampire. A person who uses dating apps too much, can become either a vampire, or a named animal which is then turned into another vampire.
Gollum does the same, the One Ring corrupts him, and turns him into a creature of the night, who hates being out in the sun. Gollum wants to entirely control his renewal process. Throughout The Lord of the Rings, it seems that he is helping Frodo, but Gollum is leading Frodo into a trap.
Gollum wants to name Frodo, rather than have Frodo be a mirror. Frodo could help Gollum, to notice where Gollum’s naming is wrong. Instead, Gollum wants to control Frodo.
Social Media as Beings
Jonathan Pageau, throughout his work, notes how social media is a higher being. These apps have an existence which is spirit, and not matter. They are mind, without body, in a sense; or soul without physical manifestation. A person who uses social media, is the body of the being.
That is preeminently true of dating apps. A person becomes a vampire, they turn into Gollum, they manifest the dark spirits at work in the background of the app. The person is the incarnation of the darkness, which the spirit of the app has as its fundamental reality.
Even at its minimum, a person becomes needy. You have in your pocket, the means to communicate with someone instantly. So you expect an immediate, or close to immediate, interaction with the person. It’s not like they are at home and you would have to drive to their home to speak.
The communication is instant. It is a false communication, compared to a real-life interaction, but it is still open to you. The possibility is open, so you seek it’s fulfillment. But in doing so, a person becomes like Gollum, where their attention is only on the One Ring.
Nothing which sustains a well-lived life, is as important as the next notification. That is true of any social media, as you manifest the body which the spirit seeks to have embodied. And it is particularly true of dating apps, where the reward is not just attention, but lust or love.
You feed off the dopamine from someone being lustily, or romantically, interested in you. The more that happens, the more of a kick you need. It is an addiction, like all social media. It starts slowly, as vampirism does, but soon you do not want a woman so much as a named animal.
The parasitic processing, the demon, the golem, the vampirism, the dark spirit of the app — all of these things have turned you into Gollum.
Marriage Instead of Demons
The way people use dating apps — aiming at, or settling for, lust instead of love — can make those who don’t use the app, not want to use the app. Because one has watched a friend experience addiction; experience a demon.
Escaping that parasitic processing is important, especially if a person is aiming for marriage. Not everyone who uses a drug becomes addicted. But many do. And eventually, the One Ring corrupts all. The one thing which would save Gollum — is if he didn’t pursue the One Ring.
So, the best way to aim for marriage is to not even use a dating app. Marriage is much more than texts, especially when the texts are just lust with a stranger. And in your mind — someone who doesn’t use a dating app, is much more suitable for marriage than someone who does.
Because dating apps destroy the identity one needs to find, or be, a husband or wife. You develop vampirism, while being the body of a dark spirit.
Dating apps are a golem: a man-made entity which starts out promisingly, but somehow goes terribly wrong. The invitation of the app is great, but the outcome is disastrous.
Dating apps are the promise of one ring, but the result of Gollum.
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Dan Sherven is the author of three books: Light and Dark, the #1 Amazon Bestseller Classified: Off the Beat ‘N Path, and Live to the Point of Tears. He holds a Bachelor’s of Philosophy, and a Bachelor’s of Journalism. Sherven currently writes for Word on Fire, The Symbolic World, the Homiletic and Pastoral Review, Luther College, and the Archdiocese of Regina.
Here, you can find his work.
