Lying vs Deception: The Difference

Daily Dose of Integrity

Daniel Munro

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Someone just sent me a question through:

“What’s the difference between lying and deception?”

I like this question. Let’s get lying out the way first.

Lying is when you deliberately express something that you know is untrue, usually with the intention of manipulating another person’s behavior that in some way favors you.

Deception includes lying, but is more about the withholding or misrepresenting of the truth to create the same effect as lying without actually lying.

For example, if I know that certain piece of information would change your mind about me, and I withhold that information to maintain your impression of me, that would be deception.

If I allowed you to believe something that I know is untrue without intervening, that would be deception.

Deception is like a passive form of gas lighting. I present only parts of the truth, or allow you to overlook important information, to allow you to come to a conclusion that does not match reality.

So it’s the lie by omission.

A lot of people use deception to still feel like they’re honest when actually they’re still just liars.

They tell themselves they’re still good people because they don’t actively lie, and yet they’ll happily let you wander down a path of complete delusion to suit their goals.

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Daniel Munro

Confidence Coach helping Nice Guys Build Better Relationships