Abuse is normal

I was telling someone close to me about a friend I have that is being abused by her husband, and the words that came out of her mouth were very shocking. She said if my friend acted a certain way her husband wouldn’t be abusing her. Mind you this came from a women who was formerly abused.

I was angry for her saying that. I’m just so confused and don’t understand this type of mindset. How could someone say such a thing? Their is no excuse for someone to ever put hands on you no matter what you say or do, especially if it’s someone who is meant to love you, hold you, and protect you forever.

The girl then proceeded to tell me that this is what my friend singed up for, and she can’t leave because she has kids, and its her marriage and we should just mind our business. Which agrivated me even more. So we should just sit and watch someone slowly die in the name of keeping her loveless marriage and let kids grow up in a toxic home, to then repeat the cycle of abuse when they get older.

Unfortunately, this is the mentality that many African women have. The mentality that this is what my friend has to go through because her husband is paying the bills at home and he’s the man therefore it’s whatever he wants while she just has to go along playing the role of his servant. I hope that their comes a day when African women will be freed from this type of mind set and realize that as much as men consider themselves as kings we are queens and deserve to be treated as one.