I’m Crying but You Can’t Tell.
Attraction is weird
I can’t tell you why I fall for someone; I just do
Some have a type
Hair, eye color, height
But if I want you, I want you
The first time we interacted
Something in me knew
I can still feel him
And remember the texture of his skin
I can still smell him as if he’s right next to me
My body leaning on him
I can still feel the roughness of his kiss when he hadn’t shaved
I’m trying to be strong but every time I cave
I can still feel my heart beat
Faster when he was near me
After all that time I still felt scared
I used to tell him this and he didn’t want me to be scared of him
But that’s not what I meant
I wish moving on was simpler
My heart feels like it’s part of a covenant
If you want to talk scared,
That really scares me
We’re not meant to be
We’re not meant to be!
But what if we are?
What if our souls were birthed together
Part of the same star
What if I never feel the same again
He warned me this would happen
Maybe he’s just in my head
I’ll put this thought to rest,
Who would I be if the thought of him was dead?
The problem is,
I don’t remember
It feels like I’ve been loving him forever
God I prayed to you
And I know I don’t deserve your help
I have done nothing to deserve it
Please take the reigns
I’m not capable of making decisions
I’m going to mess it all up
Bring me the peace that he has
I was once numbed but it didn’t last
I put him through pain, I deserve this
Why did you allow me to feel like I needed to walk away?
I proved I can stand on my own
But that doesn’t mean I’m okay
I think I’ve made him up to be something different in my thoughts
Maybe I’m not really missing him
Maybe I’ve just forgot
Every minute of every day, even when I’m smiling
I’m trying so hard to hold back the tears still hiding
When the fuck did I get like this?
I’m supposed to be stronger than this!
I’m supposed to be giving a chance to something new
Get yourself together, Darcy
It’s no longer him and you
It hasn’t been for a while so why the fuck can’t you shut the fuck up and stop fucking complaining
Songs that remind you of him
What are you gaining?!
You swayed to the music,
Your head on someone else’s shoulder, and at first it was nice
Then you couldn’t breathe, felt the pain of a knife
Because you told yourself not to look over
But then you looked in his eyes
He has someone else, and soon you will too
Set in stone!
This person you are now doesn’t have to be you.