Homesickness in College
A student’s first year in college has many ups and downs. With the opportunity to attend many parties, meet new people who will become friends, attending sports events, etc., college can be a lot of fun. Yet, when special times like the holidays come around, those fun times quickly turn into misery.
As many students travel back home to spend quality time with their families and old friends, there are those, not by choice, who remain in Norman. Majority of these students are from out-of-state.
Along with the many classes and activities available on campus to college students comes expensive fees, which must be paid. This alone prevents students from having the money they need to travel back home for the holidays.
Thanksgiving is just around the corner and students like accounting junior, Elisha Williams, knows all too well what it is like to be away from home during the holidays.
“For the Thanksgiving holiday, I plan to stay here in Oklahoma. Since the Christmas holiday is a longer break, I will be flying home to Washington, DC to spend time with family I have not seen since August,” said Williams.
Williams says money alone has prevented her from being home during the holidays and that it’s financially smarter for her to stay in Norman for Thanksgiving and go home in December since the breaks fall only 2 weeks apart from each other.
Not being able to go home at any time of the year, not just on holidays, can be emotionally and mentally tough on students. Public relations major, Nadja Theodore, experiences homesickness when there are issues with her family back home.
“It seems as though since I have been in college there have been a lot of family issues. A lot of family members have been passing away since college, I am the comforter of the family and it hurts me that I am not there to support and be there for them,” said Theodore.
Students dealing with family issues and situations similar, oftentimes have trouble keeping up with other activities and responsibilities, including homework.
Director of the University Counseling Center, Dr. Scott Miller, encourages students with a continuous problem with homesickness to see a counselor. He also stresses that counseling is not necessarily long term as many students are helped with just a few sessions alone.
“For many students homesickness can lead to sadness, depression, anxiety and academic problems. I would encourage students not to ignore feelings of homesickness and to talk to friends and family about how they are feeling,” said Miller.
Miller recognizes that many students are afraid or against counseling, but remains confident that it is effective.
“I think students are sometimes reluctant to seek counseling because they may have heard negative things about counseling in the past from friends and family. Campus counselors are highly trained and experienced dealing with a variety of issues faced by college students,” said Miller.
Friends of Dallas, Texas native and biology junior, Skylar Thomas, help her through her tough times while away from home.
“My friends help me with my homesick feeling the most. They are my family away from home,” said Thomas.
Thomas says she has gotten more accustomed to dealing with her homesickness, but sometimes it still has a great effect on her feelings.
“If I ever do start to feel homesick, I’ll just go home that weekend,” Thomas said.
This is only approximately a three-hour drive for Thomas as she is from Dallas, Texas. Yet, even though home is closer than many for Thomas, it’s difficult for her to go home often because of the demands of classes and extracurricular activities.
Theodore also says her friends have been a great support system during rough times.
“My friends help me to get over my homesickness. They are all there for me when I am at my lowest and at my peak. Talking to my mom every other day or every day helps me get over it as well, just to hear her voice makes me happy, said Theodore.
Aside from having supportive friends, students feel as though OU could do better in alleviating some of the stressors that trigger negative effects in students who experience homesickness.
“OU can better accommodate its out-of-state students by lowering the tuition, help create a scholarship for traveling purposes like during the holidays and offer more scholarships that tailor to out-of-state students,” said Williams.
Williams also suggests that OU form retention programs to help retain out-of-state students.
Thomas also chimed in on things she believes OU could do better with for students like her.
“Tuition is very expensive for out-of-state students. It has a big financial strain on my family. Especially since the school doesn’t give me much financial help, said Thomas.
Student organizations like the Black Student Association (BSA) are also doing things to help students experience the holidays away from home. BSA President, Nathan Bowser, feels that his organization’s annual thanksgiving dinner will help students fellowship with one another and remember all of the good things they have going in their lives. Students are also offered a free home cooked meal comprised of traditional Thanksgiving dishes.
“The purpose of Thanksgiving is to bring the community together to take some time and think about what we are thankful for. This event is about food, fun, fellowship and remembering just how fortunate we are to be where we are pursuing a degree,” said Bowser.
Bowser also hope the dinner will help students realize that there are other students on campus who are facing some of the same issues as them and are open to helping them cope with homesickness.
“I really hope students take the time to get to know people at the dinner and realize that we are there for them. The dinner will also help connect them to resources available to help them succeed on campus,” said Bowser.
Students interested in attending BSA’s Thanksgiving dinner can do so on November 20 at 7 p.m. in the Oklahoma Memorial Union.