First days in Granada. Stages of acceptance.

Many of my friends know, that moving to a new place was hard for me. And it wasn’t just sad. I moved through certain stages during first 3 days. So I will lead you through all of them, maybe one day you’ll be able to relate to them and be more prepared than I was.

DENIAL. The first moment I got on the Spanish land, I started to deny the whole idea of me being here. When I landed in the Malaga airport, I had the feeling… You know, it feels like broken heart. There is a whole inside of you, which you can’t heal, at least not right now, not with any words or calming thoughts in your mind. All you can feel is pain. It makes you cry, silently scream and dreaming about the moment you get in the plane to get back home… Once, I moved in, the next stage came.

DESPAIR. “That’s all. There is no way back” — I thought. “You are stuck in here. There is no plane home today, there is no way to leave this or next day”. Yeah, I checked plane tickets, I talked to all my relatives and all of them were waiting for me to come back. I knew, that I can’t go home. I knew, that in this case, everything I’ve done to get here was a waste of money… That if I come back, I loose without fight, I loose without even trying to win. Right after this thought crossed my mind, I came to another stage.

ACCEPTANCE. “Okay, dear, if you are going to stay here at least for a month, you better unpack…” I couldn’t unpack my stuff for a good 5 days, because I couldn’t believe I am not leaving this place ASAP. I went for a walk with my landlady, Olga (she isn’t Russian). She showed me some beautiful places of Granada. But I couldn’t see it. I mean, I saw buildings, stores, mountains, but I couldn’t understand. My brain processed images, but I didn’t enjoy the view. I accepted the situation, but I couldn’t see anything good about it.

I can’t come up with the name of the next stage, but I would call it “Doing it”. It may sound weird, but that how I felt: “You need to do something”. I would force myself to go for a walk, to “SEE” the beauty around me. I say “force”, because, honestly, all I wanted to do is to sit in my room, covered in blanket and waiting for my flight home.

So, if you are in a new country, you don’t know anyone and you feel super lonely — go outside. Everyone will tell you the same, but I order you to take your ass off the room and go for a walk or a beer. There might be two reasons why it helps to cope with stress: 1. You won’t cry in public (I hope) :D and 2. You get distracted from your thoughts so much, that by the time you get home you don’t remember your worryings and fall asleep. Of course, it may be still hard in the morning. So better to repeat previous day’s treatment and go for a walk.

I called to my parents and relatives every day, even more than once a day, just to hear so close to my heart voices. It helped a lot as well.
Hence, moving is hard. Starting a new life on your own is hard.