The Evolution of my Mind
Chapter 6: The Ayahuasca Experience — Part III: A psycho-spiritual rough cleansing
The core of our being is the act of perceiving, and the magic of our being is the act of being conscious. “Don Juan Matus”
It was around 8 in the morning when sunlight woke me up as it entered my room through the casement windows . It was a sunny, tempered day in the Pisac valley. I had a good rest and was excited about the idea of having another Ayahuasca session. Our breakfast was comprised of a variety of fruits from the region, jasmine tea, home-made bread and salads. Lunch was similar, but included rice, potatoes and beans.
We had time to relax during the second day so we spent it walking through the garden, reading some books and talking to each other. At that time I was reading a book called The Sorcerers’ Crossing, by Taisha Abelar, a spinoff of Carlos Castaneda’s Saga. A small part of the book relates Taisha’s “Recapitulation” technique, which consists of remembering your life with as much detail as possible; every single experience since birth. The ultimate goal is to empty your thoughts stock and free your mind in order to enter other worlds or states of consciousness. This book couldn’t be more fitting and premonitory of what I was to undergo in the second Ayahuasca session.
The day went on until Nilda summoned us to the ceremony room at around 7 at night. This time I knew what to expect in terms of ceremonial protocol and corporal sensations. We took the same places, drank the same amount of Ayahuasca and the shamans sang the same songs. Things unfolded in the same way as the previous day, but there was one big difference; I was feeling low on energy 10 minutes after drinking the brew. When the Ayahuasca hit me, I began to have an intense stomachache and was vomiting frequently. Darkness enveloped me and very unpleasant thoughts started to arise in my mind. All my unsolved problems and “bad” experiences were coming back to me. I was in such distress that I did not know what to do, but I couldn’t run away from that, at least not for the next hours.
Suddenly, I was contemplating my problems and unsolved issues from different angles and perspectives. Some of these issues were so lost in deep corners of my mind that I wouldn’t have been able to recall them under normal circumstances. The second night was more about an inner journey rather than a visual or auditive mystical experience. The fact that I could observe and analyze those experiences in a different way changed everything for me. I could understand the reason and purpose for having experienced a particular event. Moreover, I acquired an understanding of why people addressed each other in a certain way, their behaviors in specific moments. In fact, you already have the answer to all kinds of problems in life. The self-knowledge that arises within your own consciousness is the key to unblock your full potential as a human being. It is at this moment that the healing, or auto-healing, which is the byproduct of Self-knowledge, starts acting on you, unblocking your being to true love, true happiness and true peace. After some hours, I went to bed feeling very tired, but also thankful for being alive.
The psyche, which is formed by your conscious and unconscious mind, is the cornerstone of our reality. The way you perceive this “reality” determines emotions and sensations that will eventually manifest upon your body. Since it is a round cycle, those body sensations will flow back and feed your thought process, either empowering the thought or making it fade away. Ayahuasca gives you a new perspective for you to perceive those thoughts, it is the bridge between your conscious and unconscious states, and by laying down this bridge you will open the door to unimaginable capabilities of your true nature. We are all children trying to reach for the “wisdom book” high up in the bookshelf, falling down several times, but once we have reach it, we realize that everything makes sense. Ayahuasca, like many other techniques or paths, can be the “bench” that helps you reach the book. I think of myself as a Freedom seeker and I tend to take decisions based on that quest, but throughout the years I realized that its meaning has evolved. As of now, it is to live the present moment so you can express your true self. In other words; not wondering about the future and especially not going back to the past.
Those three days at the sacred valley of Pisac went by quickly and my stay at the Shaman’s house came to an end. Before leaving the house, I gifted The Sorcerers’ Crossing to the Chilean guy, who found it interesting after a conversation, and then, around noon, we all took a van that dropped us off in Cuzco. I was in the middle of my world trip, but feeling blessed and extremely happy of what I had experienced. My next stop was Machu Picchu at sunrise, so I couldn’t ask for better.
