It’s a Super Hit … It’s a Blockbuster … Nope It’s a Super Letdown !

Himanshu Upreti
Mar 26, 2016 · 8 min read
Sad Affleck meme will definitely give Sad Keanu a run for its money

You have to be living under a rock if you haven’t heard about the strident panning of Batman v Superman : Dawn of Justice by the critics. Before you go on to read my take on the movie , there are few things that I want to get off my chest first .

Oh Snyder , How Great Thou Art *bows*
  1. Yes , I am the same guy who fell in love with the rich-in-dark-theme comic-adaptation of Watchmen.
  2. I might be one of the few who thinks Man of Steel is , if not the best , one of the best Superman adaptations on screen.
  3. Yes , I haven’t read the comics but have seen enough comic book adaptations and frankly speaking , that lack of label ain’t stopping me to take a stance on this one.

Let me be honest with myself and just throw it out here — BvS : Dawn of Justice wasn’t up to the mark. The reason why I feel it fails to deliver is simply because it doesn’t meet the expectations it had previously raised. Sure it’s an average flick but do we — the movie enthusiasts — who have been waiting since April last year deserve this ? Sure it’s the one we need right now but do we deserve it to be doled out like this ?

*I fear for the soon-to-follow Justice League movies*

Superman Vs Batman may not have hit rock bottom but it sure as hell hit the rock. Fortunately there’s an explanation for this mishap *puts on thinking hat*

Seven deadly sins — yes , you read that right — pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath and sloth have caused the downfall of this could-have-set-benchmark movie.

Pride

No doubt , Henry Cavill’s portrayal of Superman in 2013’s Man of Steel was more down-to-earth compared to the one depicted in BvS. Man of Steel had more realistic emotions — it conveyed how this ‘Kryptonian alien’ encompasses human feelings (and is not a haughty superhero unlike portrayed in the
BvS ignoring that saving of the girl from the burning building scene)

It’s anger … It’s wrath …it’s Superman

Chicago Tribune sums it up beautifully — Cavill is “as narcissistic a Superman as you’ll ever see.”

Greed

“Humans are greedy because we created a paradigm that necessitates it”

Snyder seems to have taken a leaf out of this apparently although Marvel is the real reason to blame for this ; DC simply seems to be following the trend. The astounding off-the-charts visual effects to appeal to the eyes — Everything blowing up for no reason whatsoever — it seemed more like a Michael Bay’s Transformers reboot sans those ‘ugly ass robots’.

How the fuck am I so powerless in my own dream ? *sighs*

Lust

Snyder’s earlier movies concentrated on substance more than action. But BvS seems to have missed out on that one ‘key’ point.
The movie seems to be sugarcoated around the action sequences. The title is a red herring (as if the second trailer hadn’t ruined it already) .

Smash-and- bash is now the new formula for a box office hit and this covetous ardor has driven Snyder to picturize the same triteness that every other Marvel movie offers.

Envy

Don’t I just act like a little snotty b**** ?

Lex Luthor act as a megalomaniac freak falls flat with that ludicrous accent and even more farcical idiosyncrasies. Come on Jesse , let’s not kid ourselves , you ain’t no Heath Ledger. Frankly , I sympathize with you but as far as your performance is concerned — sorry not sorry.

Gluttony

Doomsday . Period.
That CGI is one of the worst that I have witnessed in recent past . It looks like a cross between a troll and that nemesis (The Abomination) in the Incredible Hulk. If it were not for Wonder Woman’s fight sequences and poor Bat hilariously trying to escape from the teenage-mutant-ninja-turtle-gone-wrong, the last half an hour would have been unbearable.

Snyder’s obsessive compulsive disorder with the vfx kicked in and that kind of ruined the movie. Not completely saying that all sequences were bad , but those that were bad made us lose connection with the characters and not care about the story anymore.

They see me destructin , they hatin !!

Wrath

This kind of goes hand in hand with the aforementioned deadly sins such as greed and lust. Too much of anything is good for nothing. Action sequences seemed forced at times and so did the blowing up of random stuff . The Doomsday’s last stand coupled with the bad CGI was a torture to eyes.
Snyder seemed to have given it all as far as action packed package is concerned.

Every action scene was a reminiscent to that Nancy Sinatra’s song.

Bang bang, he shot me down
Bang bang, I hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, my baby shot me down .

Sloth

The movie did feel a tad dragging . But then again when Snyder is the one at helm of direction , then you got to put up with the time . Frankly speaking , I didn’t have complain with the movie being too long but the content — oh boy, that is a separate story altogether .

You just can’t spend too much time on a character , put a tin foil hat on her and allow her to speculate about some half baked conspiracy theory only to see it not contributing to anything substantial enough . Why waste the viewers time , I ask ? Instead could have taken that time to build up a character’s story.

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But not everything offers sour taste in this Bat of Gotham vs. Son of Krypton. There is after all a silver lining in every dark cloud.

Batfleck is love , Batfleck is life.

Watch out , We’ve got a badass over here !!

Oh I loved Affleck as Batman — he’s the one we deserve and he’s the one we needed right now — he perfectly filled up Christian Bale’s shoes and I , not even for a second , felt otherwise. We have always thought of Batman as a dark grim character and Affleck perfectly portrays that on the camera. Sure his Punisher-esque tactics seem a little far-fetched for the caped crusader but the dark knight does fight like a bat should . Oh and while we are on the topic , Batsuit looks great although flying batmobile might take some time for me to grow on . Ben’s great as Bruce Wayne , the billionaire , too. Call me an unorthodox rebel , I don’t care , but I would love to see a stand-alone
Batman flick with Affleck leading the front.

Princess of Amazon

*screams like a fanboy*

Admitted she was underused but with whatever screen time she could get , she stole the thunder. The trinity with her at the center got me off , I swear. That magical lasso , that shield absorbing and reflecting Doomsday’s laser beams and that leaping for attack were the most breathtaking moments in the whole movie. I would love to watch a complete origin movie of her in near future.

Other cherry picks

Certain vfx were amazing especially that falling of necklace beads off Martha (the Batman’s mom) ; that slo-mo had an uncanny resemblance with The Comedian’s fall in Watchmen. Coincidentally , both the characters
eventually die.

Few cameos here and there such as Neil deGrasse Tyson and other members of Justice League — Flash, Aquaman and Cyborg — which were more like blink-and-you’d-miss .

What has Khal Drogo been smoking these days ? Being high as fuck ; Being Aquaman and Shit .

The Sound of Music

Soundtrack is befitting the action scenes — all thanks to the ‘legend’ Hans Zimmer and Junkie XL (of Mad Max: Fury Road and Deadpool fame) — without it , the movie overdosed with action would have sucked. Wonder Woman Theme is downright eargasmic.

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Overall it’s just another brick in the wall and will soon be forgotten like the Avengers. “What we have got here is failure to communicate” to fans . Unless DC pulls a rabbit out of the hat , the future seems frail and bleak. We don’t want another Marvel on our hands because frankly speaking we are tired of the Marvel shit. Here’s to hoping for a better DC world of movies !!

Note to future DC Adaptations’ directors -
You either bring out an amazing movie and be a hero or you live long enough to see yourself bring banality on screen and become a villain .

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Fun Fact

The initials “DC” came from the company’s popular series Detective Comics, which featured Batman’s debut and subsequently became part of the company’s name.

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Image Sources

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Himanshu Upreti

Written by

Cinephile ,a TV Series freak and a quizzer at heart — Basically all ‘Geek’ and latin stuff. Mr. Cinephile or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Movies

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