A Student’s Plea

Darlene Kawilarang
Aug 25, 2017 · 2 min read

Eight years.
That's how long I've spent my energy,
Breaking the rules, rebelling from authority, and having my energy go down the drain.

Eight years,
That's how long my identity has been defined by grades,
Or small figures on a sheet of paper,
That'll make a big difference.

"Study! Study! Get good grades!" my parents will bark at me.
"If you don't get ninety and above, you will be a disgrace to this family!"
Absolute nonsense, Mom. I've tried my damn best, but if you think that isn't enough, I don't know what is.

Eight years.
That’s how long I’ve reluctantly obeyed,
The instructions and orders of teachers.
"Listen to me, and only me!" bellows the teacher,
The only one that can discuss the lectures.
"Don’t dare to ask any questions or not pay attention!"

Eight years.
That's how long I've wasted my parents' hard-earned money.
I've missed lots of opportunities, didn't study hard enough, and kept running away from my responsibilities.

"Dad! My lessons are too hard," I whine. "I don't get anything!"
"If you complain one more time, I'll cut you off from school," my father replies, glaring at me.
I bow my head in shame.

Eight years.
That’s how long I’ve messed up,
Broken relationships, terrible fights, slamming doors,
Boy, I can’t count no more.

Eight years,
That's how long I regret not having anything to show to the world.
I'm surrounded by all these talented and bright-minded individuals,
And yet, I'm the only firework without a lit fuse.

Eight years.
That's how long I've tried,
Tried, tried and tried,
But nothing really good ever happens to me.

They say,
"School prepares you for your future! It’ll help you go to a good college and get a good job!"

Bullshit to that.
School, to me, is just a regurgitation of useless facts that I won’t be needing in the future.

And no, it isn't preparing me for life.
It's leading me closer to death.

)
Darlene Kawilarang

Written by

//04 🇮🇩 I write when I feel like writing. IG: @darlkaw

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