I’m scared.

I’m scared.

I’m scared.

I want to but I look at you and feel I shouldn’t but I need to freaking give all my love

I need you to want all of me but my fears

I’m so scared.

How do I cross the line?

Too scared for this has now become my defense mechanism.

It’s tiring, I know no one can help me out of it but me.

50/50 is all I seek knowing you are 100% in control and just letting you.

I love you, I don’t want you with anyone else

You are not mine.

I’m not patient or am I.

Can we just fly away to some fairy tale land?

95% feeling you’d hurt me,

I want to go down that road but I’m scared.

Fear is the beginning of a fall.

I don’t want you gone,

I need you here with me deep inside my heart, the only safe haven I seek.

Maybe things would change for the better or worse.

What I’m saying is are you with me or do I think you are with me.

Fuck yea, I know you love me

Is it enough though, I don’t know.

Certainty doesn’t go well with you,

I can’t keep on hoping,

It’s a card I really don’t know how to play.

My heart is hurt confirming that i have been too scared to admit,

I always knew that he wouldn’t commit, I always knew whatever he felt wasn’t enough,

I always knew yet I chose denial.

I’m so sad,

I’m very sad,

I don’t know how to be different.

Then I get myself a classic distraction but that doesn’t work. It was fun for a while but it got real and I knew it was all of you I needed no one else.

You are all I seek yet all I despise.

You are the reason for my hot tears.

I feel almost abnormal yet so normal.

If I had my way, I did runaway.

It’s seems like I need a daddy but I have got a daddy and it’s not you.

Graced my daddy is still alive.

*What I need is a man, my man*

And like my friend Lanray Lawal says, “let your tears be your ink and pain your pen”