Stop for a second. You’re alive!

I’m having problems lately with my mortality.

Let me clarify that powerful statement, which has the ability to scare people into believing I need to be locked away and drugged. I am not at all contemplating to hurt myself or anyone else in any way. It is a shame that I must preface this stream of thought with such disclosure, but it’s the world we live in.

Do I need help? Well, sure. We all need help in some form and fashion. To believe we know all the answers is a fallacy and absolutely ludicrous. We gain some assistance when we admit that we need help to find a path to happiness.

From my experiences, knowledge and intuition, I am left to believe that is a noble goal — happiness. It is what I strive to establish each and every day. I think I’m doing a good job with it.

So what’s bugging me?

I don’t know why I’m here, how long I’m meant to be here nor how long I will last. What is my purpose? Why am I attached to emotions so that I will love certain people unconditionally and with true feeling as opposed to simply enjoying their features and letting them go? Why do I constantly think about the fact that I think and therefore I am and therefore I am limited in space and time?

The knowledge of my lack of understanding and control is overwhelming. It is limiting. It is powering.

At times, I wish I understood more about the meaning of life. Of my life. At other times, I don’t want to think at all. I wish to be preoccupied by my successful businesses, successful life, happy family, loving girlfriend, joyous puppy. It makes me smile and by all accounts I’m generally happy, despite the somber sound of this text.

Here’s the catch.

I am legitimately happy.

But I am also confused. I am confounded. I am lost. I am scared.

There are people in this world willing to take their lives and the lives of others and seriously injure innocent individuals for what they may believe to be a higher calling. There are diseases that do not differentiate between good and bad people, and all of a sudden appear to cause an early end to an otherwise healthy person’s life. There are circumstances completely out of our control that can take us or our loved ones away within the amount of time it takes to read this sentence.

That scares the shit out of me.

Stop again. You’re still alive.

I hope it truly hits you at some point while reading this. You are made up of these particles and organs that allow you to scan, comprehend and digest what is contained herein. You are taking valuable time out of your limited lifespan to consider my thoughts. You may not have another opportunity on this Earth after this life. That is wild to me.

Don’t you care?

Is it such a bad thing to admit the truth? I am not at risk of doing anything dangerous, of sacrificing anyone or anything. I merely wonder what it is that we are, why we have been put on this Earth with the rarest elements to survive, why we seek to achieve more than our most basic wants, what happens when our brains stop working.

These things have given me pause as of late. I am immune to the grandest desires and the most meaningless temptations. I love what I have. I am not only content, I am excited by what surrounds me. Yet, I long for clarity. I want the answers that are untold. It is a burning passion for truth that cannot be extinguished by the fiercest wind. It is most difficult to describe.

Have you ever thought about the fact that you are alive? Pause for a moment. Drown out the forces that surround you. Somehow exonerate yourself from the sounds and sensations that distract you.

You are alive and reading this note. Isn’t that, in itself, unbelievable? You may never have an opportunity, in all of creation, as a human being, to ever feel and understand this again. The moment that you spend reading this, much like the minutes I spent writing all of this, can never be duplicated (as far as we know). Our actions have consequence.

We are not immortal. Tell your parents how much your love them. Call your grandparents on a daily basis if you have them. These are opportunities that you can’t ask for at a later date.

This is supposed to read like a stream of thoughts, because that is exactly what they are. Those thoughts may be duplicative at times, but if so then it is only to stress the importance that I place on them.

These are words that needed to be said. Life is amazing. Atrocities are saddening. We, as human beings, need to band together to prolong life, not end it prematurely through senseless acts.

We must appreciate what we have and strive for better. For ourselves and for humanity as a whole.

We are so powerful, united.

What is our purpose? Not the wisest of us knows. But while we are here, sharing this beautiful earth, we should make the most of it.

Find your passion. Pursue it. Encourage others. Be loving. Empower the many. Strive to be unbelievable. Believe.