Why the second marriage was all smooth sailing ?
Who made me a better man...Kitty bih rit L.L.
This work is based entirely on true events, but certain details, characters, and timelines have been altered for dramatic purposes. Since it is a narration of the day after my other marriage it’s more or less true!
(Letter from the khasi jaintia hill states, vol 1, issue 8).
Here’s my story!
(the morning after)…
My internal biological clock awakened me to the sound of nothing.
I didn’t need an alarm clock to wake up as this was a habit I had cultivated over the years. It just occured naturally!
I turned to my side and reached for my wrist watch on the bed side table. The hands on the dial pointed to a half past six.
I slowly turned over to the other side of the bed and I realised that I had a throbbing pain in my right temple.
‘God! I must’ve had to much to drink last night’. I thought.
Was it the home brewed corn whiskey or that cheap vodka or both.
As these vague thoughts floated in my head I noticed that the quilt was propped up abnormally higher next to me.
The outline of a figure was beside me tucked beneath the quilt.
My faint memory recollected images of a priest, a cross, the holy Bible, a quiet ceremony, dancing, and a modest wedding gown that felt distictly coarse to the touch.
I smiled lightly to myself…
I gently tugged the quilt down to reveal a face deep in slumber.
It was a she!
I brushed her long hair aside and lightly caressed her cheek. She slowly opened her eyes and peered back at me.
Light brown eyes shaped like almonds and an ocean of memories in them!
“Its almost seven, wake up”, I whispered.
She pulled the quilt back up to her nose and mumbled, “I don’t want to, let me sleep another five minutes longer.”
“And I’m really thirsty too.” she added.
‘I chuckled’ and turned to the other side of the bed where I always kept a flask of water handy on the table.
It wasn’t there!
Where did I keep it? Did I forget to fill it up the previous night.
It had always been there for the past eight years.
That’s when I slowly realised that I wasn’t in my home but hers.
I wondered how much I had to drink the night before that I forgot everything.
I quickly got out of bed and pulled on my trousers and woolies.
I went into the kitchen and filled a glass of water from the filter and returned.
I sat down on the bedside and said in my baritone voice, “Here you go, mahadei” (princess).
She slowly sat up in bed and took the glass of water.
She took a few sips then met my eye and said, “there isn’t anything to eat for breakfast.”
“What” I responded a little surprised.
“No, we ran out of vegetables and rice yesterday.”
“We need to go to the market and pick up some groceries.” “There’s just a bit of rice if you want but it won’t be enough for the both of us”, she added giggling.
“Oh! I replied dully.
The words ‘we’ and ‘shopping’ was the first unpleasant errand of the morning that I desperately wanted to evade. Especially not with a perpetual hangover.
I decided to propose a crafty alternative!
“You know…maybe I’ll go myself and you can call ‘bih rit’ to help you tidy up the place later.”
“The house is in a mess” I added.
She looked at me and said, “You wouldn’t know what to buy.”
“Why of course I would! I’ve been shopping for the past eight years.”
“In the meanwhile you can say your morning prayers and I’ll call you on the cell when I get to the market so you can add anything you remember.” I replied confidently.
“okay, that sounds good. Besides, my brother and Bih Rit will be coming over in an hour to help us with the house work.” she replied gently.
I gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead and lightly stroked the bridge of her nose three times while she shut her eyes in acknowledgement.
Seizing the opportunity I calmly stood up and slipped into my shoes. I grabbed my naga shawl and wrapped it around me like one would don a poncho. I then took the CJ keys from the coffee table and made for the front door.”
“Start jotting the list in advance, I’ll call you in twenty minutes, kitty cat,” I hollered as I closed the front door.”
The air was chilly outside and even though the sun had risen I could still see a blanket of morning mist cloaking the green hills on the far end of the horizon.
Only the hilltops peered back at me and like a child I wished them, “good morning hills.”
I imagined they wished me back and I walked across the lawn to the CJ. I opened the ancient metal frame of a door and climbed in.
I started the jeep and left it on idle for a minute. This was necessary to lubricate all the moving parts or so was the common supposition.
As I warmed the engine my aching head felt worse.
There was a quart of whiskey in the house but I didn’t want to ruin the first day after our little ceremony by opening that.
Besides the in-laws who stayed in the cluster of houses nearby would be here soon to help clean up.
Wouldn’t want to start my first day reeking of alcohol.
‘Good thing we ran out of supplies’ I thought cheerily.
The engine settled to a steady idle and I slipped the stick into first. Instead of backing out I did a U turn across my expansive lawn and slowly joined the main road after doing a quick left-right glance to check for traffic.
‘Ah, free!’ I thought to myself.
‘First things first, let’s go to my cousin sister’s shop’.
I drove a short distance along the highway and took the first right into a bye lane which would take me to the market.
I always enjoyed driving through the broken back roads because it cut across a long flat valley.
On either side there were paddy fields and I noticed some farmers were already busy at work.
They were always dressed in clothes that made them look poor and they wore blue gum boots.
I knew that before leaving home they would pack everything along with them like they were out on a picnic.
Cooked rice packed in a banana leaf,
vegetables and meat,
fresh spring water,
extra warm clothes in case it rained,
tarp to set up a tent,
local tobacco,
hand carved pipe,
chewing tobacco for the women and ‘kwai’ that made their mouth red.
I left the habit of chewing kwai a long time ago. It was a meaningless addictive betel nut.
As if drinking and smoking wasn’t enough.
As I drove I thought to myself, ‘farmers lived beautiful fulfilling lives’.
The CJ bounced along merrily and as I drove past them I shouted out a morning greeting, “Heyyy”
“Hooo” someone shouted back as they disappeared in the distance.
I drove straight to my cousin sister’s place which was on the way to the market and stopped in front of her shop.
Her little store was open and I spotted Deng one of her teenage daughters busy washing plates outside.
She was wearing a sleeveless frock which revealed her slim fair arms and her hair was neatly tied in a bun.
‘She’s wearing that; in this cold!
Is it suddenly warmer or am I getting older.’
I hopped out of the jeep and walked up to her.
“Aah” I crudely began, “pack me a half of whiskey and pour me a shot of anything. Quick!”
She laughed her long sweet seventeen year old laugh and said, “Haa, it’s only seven in the morning, I’ll tell mum.”
“did I ask you what time it is” I said a little disgruntled.
She knew her uncle was a daytime drinker and she went into the kitchen poured a peg of whiskey and brought it out to me.
I enquired about her mother and she told me she was drying clothes at the top of the hill where they stayed. I noticed that the shop was full of lorry drivers eating breakfast and so I decided not to go in and quickly downed the peg outside her store.
“I’m leaving, here’s two hundred and you can keep the change” I said.
“but the bill is two hundred and thirty” she argued.
“Huh,” I murmured absently as I peeled out another fifty from my front pocket.
“Here, now keep the change,”
She looked down at the fifty and slowly looked back up at me perhaps expecting a little more but smiled instead.
“I heard you got married” she said in her sweet girly voice.
“Yes, it was a small quiet ceremony. An old people’s delayed marriage.”
“Make sure you and your mom come for dinner later in the evening. I got a present for you.”
Her innocent eyes widened in excitement, “A present, yes of course uncle” came the obedient reply and she flashed her beautiful smile which she probably practised a hundred times in the mirror everyday.
‘She’s growing up’ I thought as I left the store and got into the jeep.
The reality was I had no such present and I probably would gift her an old watch and claim it to be my great grand father’s to keep her happy for a while.
I smiled to myself as I started the CJ and continued my journey to the market.
Meanwhile the cheap whisky was an instant remedy and my hangover gradually started to disappear.
Upon arriving, I took out my pen and notepad from the metal glove compartment and put it into my shirt pocket.
I reached underneath my seat for my carry bag which was made out of cloth. It had a long strap and I slung it over my shoulder.
Then I walked the short distance to the main market making long strides and entered my favourite store.
“Morning, deng” I said in a long drawn tone like a general.
I should point out here that in the khasi hills just about everyone can be called Deng. It is an endearing suffix which comes after ‘Bah’ which means mister.
While ‘Kong’ is also a prefix for Mrs/Miss.
So you’re bound to find a hundred deng’s just about everywhere regardless of their gender and never know their real christian names.
There are also Nah’s and Rit’s for the younger siblings and Heh’s for the elders.
A jumble of unknown people which is perfect if you’re somebody who wants to remain anonymous.
Or intends to commit a crime.
“What brings you here so early JJ, is there something wrong” came the passive reply.
“Oh Bah deng, we ran out of supplies. The guests hogged everything last night and there was nothing left to cook for breakfast.”
“You should have come, everyone had a good time.”
“Oh, I couldn’t come because no one was free to look after the store.”
I knew that would be his answer because all grocers had the same stupid excuse which they defiantly honoured.
Who would take care of the store.
Someone had to guard the store.
How much business would be lost if they closed for five minutes.
What would become of their customers in their absence.
They would be left to starve!
They would queue up outside and desperately try to reach him on the cell phone for a pound of tomatoes.
Which would result in their children missing out on a healthy supper.
And that would in turn affect their intelligent quotient whatever that meant!
That’s how all grocers are unwillingly imprisoned to their store for life. They were duty bound to the masses and as a consequence they were dutiful.
It was like a code of conduct that none of us mere mortals understood.
The business they conducted everyday was known only to them. It was almost an Omerta!
Bah deng was a small built man in his mid fifties. This particular morning he was wearing an old maroon school sweater with yellow borderlines at the neck.
It looked like it was preserved since the time he passed out of high school and given his small frame he could continue wearing it later in his coffin.
He had crows feet at the sides of his eyes and a wheatish complexion. For some reason after his first and only marriage he immediately began to look old and off late had begun to have a weary look about him. Despite the fact that I knew he didn’t drink his skin looked pale.
He also had sunken eyes and a slim neck that affixed his head to his shoulders.
Everytime he talked his head swayed slowly like a frail rose bud that could fall off anytime.
So acknowledging that he was a feeble man who spent most of his younger life in the store I always took the utmost care to address him in a polite manner.
As I was about to begin the cellphone rang.
I fished out the ageing nokia I had bought two decades ago and firmly pressed receive.
“Oye, I’m at Bah deng’s store. Tell me what you need my fair queen.”
And there began a long list of necessities that I swiftly jotted down on the notepad I had on me.
Knowing it would take a while for Deng to gather all the groceries I handed him the slip and told him that I would be back in ten minutes.
I left his store and walked across the street to the newspaper vendor.
I rarely spoke to my paper man so I nodded a greeting, picked up my paper and paid him in exact change which I had kept aside well in advance.
Then I walked of to the hardware store on the other side of the street.
The main market of sohiong was so small you could finish all your work in no time. There was one shop for everything but you were never spoilt for choice.
This meant that you could buy all you ever needed and never go broke.
At the hardware store there was the short plump woman who’s suffix I never asked though I had known her for more than a year.
She had a stern Miss piggy face and had body proportions that rounded off everywhere. Which is why I never ventured to chat her up.
No average looking man would! I thought.
Unless she was already married to someone equally round like her.
I greeted her with a ‘Kumno Kong’ (Hello Mrs) and in my head I assumed she must have been another Deng or rit.
I bought one incandescent bulb, a tubelight, five metres of electrical wire and a new pair of pliers which I had misplaced somewhere on a drunken spree.
I paid her and walked back to deng’s shop but stopped halfway to pick up some fresh beef.
I also ordered a pound of pork which I only picked after careful scrutiny.
I examined the pork in particular like a connoisseur making sure to pick the belly portion before the hind legs.
The meat had to look pinkish.
Not too red and not pale either.
Since the consumption of beef in our town was always greater than pork it’s scrutiny could be overlooked.
It would always be fresh!
I paid the man and put the packed meat in my cloth bag.
Then I headed straight back to Bah deng’s shop.
“Are you done yet” I questioned in my baritone which was a little too loud for the morning.
Deng took no notice of me.
He was seated in his chair behind the counter and was busy checking off each item like a head master.
I sat down on a sack of rice and wished I had brought along the whiskey I had left in the jeep.
The air was getting warmer and the morning mist so common in these parts completely evaporated.
I knew there was no point in interrupting the snail so I reached for my Tobacco pouch and made myself a rollie.
In the meanwhile I made a quick call to the wife to clarify if there was anything else.
She replied in the negative and told me to come home quickly as her sisters had arrived to help cleaning up the house.
As I switched off the cell I thought,
‘They’re here so early’. ‘So that means no holiday for me’.
The sound of Bah deng’s voice interrupted my thoughts.
“Bah J!”
I stood up and asked him if everything on the list was actually in my lot.
He said he was positive and I knew he was! The man had been doing his job all his life.
I knew it was his mother’s store and since his father had run off when he was young he had to take over the reins and continue the show.
He also had a few siblings to take care of and he was over burdened with the responsibility of handling everything in that little store.
Over the years he had introduced vegetables and lentils and soap and shampoos and…
“Hey, wait a minute” I interrupted. Is there dish washing soap on that list”.
“ Huh! he slowly uttered again.
I knew it could take an eternity for him to go through the list so I snatched it from his desk.
‘There wasn’t!
So I asked for the dish soap, some hair shampoo for the new queen ‘And’….
“Give me a pack of that” I said pointing out to the item displayed in a wooden show case.
His head pivoted slowly and said,
“What? Biscuits!”
“No that one directly above it.”
“That” he slowly exclaimed in surprise.
“What are you going to do with that,” and he let out a chuckle accompanied by an insulting half smile.
“Are you drunk,” he remarked with an annoying tone.
I looked at him sternly and told him that I knew exactly what it was and why I needed it.
He understood me and he added the article to the list.
He then proceeded to add the expense to the cash memo which was really just a slip of paper.
I lit my Rollie as I knew it would take a while because some grocery store owners have this stupid habit.
They add the amount to the check list and then they start calculating the entire list all over again.
Bah Deng was no exception and he began doing just that.
So I stormed out of the store and popped into the tavern adjacent to his where I sat myself down on a bench and ordered a glass of whiskey.
All the stores were lined up in a row and were made entirely out of wood. So I drank my whiskey slowly and knocked on the panel that partitioned his store every so often.
“Are you done?”
Silence…
A minute later “Done yet”
He replied with a grunt which meant that he was half way through and really putting an effort into the calculator.
Meanwhile, I smoked my Rollie like a king and lazily sipped my drink like a coal miner on his day off.
I stretched my long legs across the gap in the table because I was the only customer there drinking whiskey at now maybe eight in the morning.
I knocked again with my left hand.
Silence again!
Ten minutes later I finished my glass and made another Rollie.
Finally, I impatiently knocked again real hard this time till the tin roof above me vibrated and the store owner, (some Kong) a woman across me glared back.
I reassured her that I was just waiting for the grocer Mr. Deng to calculate the bill.
I straightened my posture and added that I was not high. I asked her about last night’s business in an attempt to make small talk but she mumbled something back which I took as a bad sign.
Finally Bah Deng gave out a long moan from the other side and I was sure he had completed his accounts.
I paid the woman, thanked her, apologised for my knocking, popped out of her store and entered Deng’s.
My man had packed everything including the soap and the special item and so I asked him about the bill.
“Yours comes to four hundred and fifty seven” came the robotic voice.
“Where did the fifty seven come from. Can’t you round it off to fifty”.
Now it was Bah deng’s turn to glare and glare he did since I was most probably his first customer of the morning.
I timidly withdrew my bargain and paid the man with a five hundred inr bill which in the real world is the equivalent of 5 dollars.
It took another long minute before the exact change was tendered.
I picked up my groceries and left without saying goodbye knowing fully well that I wouldn’t be missed.
At the jeep I carefully sorted out everything in the front seat.
I kept the tray of eggs on the seat next to me which was connected to my seat because it’s a CJ.
I carefully placed the tomatoes next to the eggs,
the cloth bag which contained the meat on the floor because of the blood staining problem,
the packed groceries which included the carton of milk just behind me.
And we were done.
‘Except that’…and I thought long and hard a bit.
“Ha!” I burst out loud as I jumped out of the jeep.
I scurried over to a corner shop and bought fifty cents worth of that dispicable nut called kwai and some pre-packed chewing tobacco.
I also bought a bottle of mineral water and some chewing gum.
All this at eight am in the morning.
I got back into the jeep and knowing well that my religious presbyterian brother in law would be at the house I opened the whiskey bottle.
I also opened the mineral water bottle.
I swigged the whiskey held it in my mouth and sipped the water, swished it around a bit and swallowed.
I repeated the same two more times then sealed both bottles and started the jeep.
On the way back I stopped at my cousin sister’s place and ordered a wine and a few bottles of beer.
This was for the wife and her sisters so they could have a little fun in the evening.
I drove back slowly careful not to drive too fast over the bumps lest the eggs break.
As I approached the highway I took a short detour instead.
This route took me across someone’s dusty untilled field.
I only did this to avoid passing by the same chapel I got married in the day before. There was also a police out post but that wasn’t much of a problem since I knew everyone there.
I checked my eyes in the mirror and they were pinkish and that’s why I took the shortcut in case I bumped into the pastor who would be returning from his morning walk.
Then I re-joined the country road, which led to the highway and finally reached home.
I parked the rusty jeep in a fashionable manner across the unkempt lawn and decided to make two trips to carry the groceries so as to avoid dropping the eggs and the tomatoes.
It was then that a familiar voice called out to me and I realised it was my step sister.
I gave her a warm smile and without breaking eye contact I skilfully reached for the chewing gum in my shirt pocket. I peeled open the wrappers and popped all four sticks in my mouth.
She daintily walked the ten paces towards the jeep and I munched the gum furiously like a billy goat.
By the time she was at the window I had the eggs and tomatoes in my hands.
“Here, help me will you.”
Oh, sure,” came her cheerful reply.
I carried the remaining groceries back into the kitchen and there was a flurry of activity inside the house.
Her house was alot bigger than mine.
I lived in a tiny cottage in my village which was also a part of the same township.
Her place looked a bit to big for me to mentally fit in. I wasn’t used to so many rooms and I slowly realised that I would have to get accustomed to staying here after all.
‘And cut down on the booze too, Boo Hoo!’
As I walked into the hall I asked my sister in-law where Kitty was? They told me she was in the back yard getting ready for a bath.
I walked into the back house and shouted out “Kitty, Kitty,” like a spoilt brat.
“Stop shouting bulldog.” came a voice from behind me.
I spun around and saw that she was brushing her long black hair and was still dressed in her night gown.
“I got everything on the list and a little something for you girls later.”
“you haven’t had anything have you,” she replied in her authoritative cat like tone.
“Oh no, I wouldn’t, I only had a shot to cure the hangover.”
“My brother’s here, no more drinking for you till the evening,”
“No problem,” I replied confidently given that I had almost a quart of whiskey in my system to get throught the entire day.
Then her face fell a bit and I gently asked her, “what’s the matter.”
She looked up at me and giggled like a shy teenager.
“What is it? I persisted.
She drew closer and whispered in my ear, “I forgot to tell you to buy…….”
I grinned ear to ear as I victoriously pronounced,
“I bought the kwai, some shampoo, chewing Tobacco dishwashing soap and also a pack of sanitary napk**s.”
Her eyes widened and she laughed out loud.
When she recovered she said, “you think of everything don’t you.”
“No Kitty I do not think of everything. I’ve just been trained really well before.”
I wasn’t born yesterday you know.
“I’m sure you weren’t, except that now you’re going to have to learn everything all over again,” she said.
“yes ma’am, can I go now!”
She gave me a three fingered slap on the cheek which stung a bit and turned her back to me.
“You have a bath, while I keep your brother ‘King James’ some company. I heartily declared.
“There isn’t any more chopped fire wood.” she retorted.
“yes, I’ll be on it,” i mumbled back.
“And the pigs need feeding,”
“Yes yes,”
“and the bulb”
“Hmmm”
“and the pump needs reparing,”
“Uh Huh,”
and I slowly faded away before anymore could be said.
‘And they lived happily ever after although they quarrelled fiercely like cats and dogs from time to time’.
Footnote (*) In the Khasi Jaintia hill states it is an ancient traditional practice that the husband goes to stay permanently in the wife’s home.
This is still widely prevalent in the present day.
