Sick and tired of all this shit

I’m tired of working.

I’m tired of not having any money.

I’m tired of being broke.

I’m tired of being so tired because I’m frustrated, I’m angry, and I feel stuck.

So fucking tired of having to find ways to boost my discipline and resolve.

I’m tired because I’m not sleeping well. Having bad dreams because I’m worried about money and my business.

I’m tired because I’m not working out because I’m too tired from everything else.

I’m tired because I haven’t taken a vacation or gone away for such a long time. Nor have I had made the time to recover.

I’m tired because I can’t seem to hit on a schedule that allows me to feel good about my productivity.

All that shit is the flip-side of my “Why”. My “Why” for continuing to build a business on my own terms.

All that shit was so last year.

All that shit in front of my face made it hard to see.

Happy that I’m not wading in that crap-fest right now.

Walking around in shit-up-to-your-knees is not a good place to be. It stinks.

Last year around this time I was exhausted from everything. I realized that I had been tired for so long that connecting with my “Why” wasn’t enough to propel me forward.

I’d been in that state of negativity and frustration for so long that it felt impossible to overcome it.

It was pretty damn close to learned helplessness.

It reminded me that I needed to ask for help.

And I did.

I asked for help from my coaching group.

I asked my accountability partner to help.

I asked a friend who was willing to listen and help me clean up my shit.

But I was also sad.

Months after the loss of our dog, Reggie, the sadness compounded my tiredness.

I missed the routine, the play, the connection, the getting-out-of-the-house.

I missed his face-licking-doggy-kisses, his wiggle-butt-hellos and his cuddles-companionship.

I missed how being with him allowed me to escape my shit.

Why not pick up his shit instead? Pop that poop in a doggy bag, tie it up and throw that shit away.

This shit is gone!

Now, let’s go play!

– Darren
The Flex Your Mind Project

Mark Whitehand invited me to play and take part in “The 30 Things About Me Experiment.”