The Day The Doctor Stole My Sex Life

I woke up. With my dad shaking me from the floor, shouting. ‘Daryl’ ‘Daryl’ ‘Daryl’ ‘Daryl’. I had no idea what he was shouting about. I had just passed out and had a seizure on the floor. I was 11 years old on ‘antidepressants’ and ‘antipsychotics’. The UK’s National Health Service doctors commanding I needed these unproven medications, unquestioned. They assured us this is the only solution. And wouldn’t help us without this drugs sale. Back when I was 9. No adverse effect report was made by the doctors concerned. That I need to take their drugs. This is merely the standard in ‘mental health’. Be it in the womb, pregnant mothers, adult or child.

That holiday was pretty bad. Filled with angry emotional behaviour. Arguing with my previous beloved very little brother and sister. Violent sexual daydreaming. And soon to be noncholent swallowing all the medication packets passing out and waking up in hospital suicide attempt. I was 12. And as my dads girlfriend could only attempt to explain my alien change to my little brother and sister, “he’s just mentally ill”. I was at a loss for words. I didn’t know why I was doing it. And I couldn’t seem to stop it.

Pfizer and Glaxo medications that the doctors insisted upon. Was never questioned. Even if it wasn’t working (for the cause). In fact it was only ever the only thing that was not in and left out of the topic of any conversation. The leaflets don’t say and they never also told my mum, That it could cause sexual dysfunction disfigurement forever. To take my pills and remain as mentally hygienic would end up in my youthful body not being able to feel anything between my legs in a little more than 10 years. Despite them still hanging down. A cruel deceptive dystopian nightmare. Happening to a real life. Surely Glaxo and Pfizer have covered something up somewhere? After all they had no problem doing so involving the deaths of children.

The MHRA (UK drug regulator) despite hardly anything ever getting reported stats reveal that of the reported sexual dysfunctions more than 20% of them (ended in) permanent sexual disfigurement.

The day the doctor stole my sex life.

This made my early 20s and every day until now a cruel unbelievable tormented hell.

At 21 my girlfriend at the time. I couldn’t have sex with. She attacked and beat me. Because I did not, could not sexually reach for her.

At 22 the girl I long had a connection with. That should finally be passionate. I could not have an erection. She tried to make ‘the best of it’ by laughing and pretending to dry hump my flacid manhood. It was utter hell. Although she was only just trying to help.

I was long isolated and withdrawn from hugs and a social life (and normal human life). I was a hidden away secret (shame). A 21 year old secret shame. This was the hell. With no way out. (or through).

At 23 I was volunteering at an disability after schoolclub, I (cautiously) rarely agreed to go to a rare party afterwards. (with young people, mostly a year or 2 older). A girl was staring seductively on purpose straight at my cock in the kitchen. We stood there in what seemed like the most (lonely) forever. My animal instincts never kicked in. How shameful. The girl was astoundingly astonished and but silently surprised.

At 23/24 the (only) mentally peculiar girl like me at work invited me round for intimacy. I couldn’t and can’t dry hump anymore… Disconnected from humans, and not human anymore, I also couldn’t touch her, or hug her. Or flirt… I am not with the humans anymore. She got me to touch her back. She suggested we go up to bed for sex. I couldn’t feel even a testicle tickle. Or a heart beat. Or a hug. She changed her mind. Like the others now… She never saw me again… and never wanted to see me, again.

At 24 a girl wanted to know me and spend the night with me and have sex with me. I quickly made my body hugely buff and strong (that she liked). I couldn’t get an erection. And now she had a period… She never wanted to see me or speak to me again.

At 25 in isolated withdrawn dystopian hell a hot Indian girl started talking to me on the train. I went and took her up and went on a date with her. I had no genital sensation, humiliation, too shamed to touch. And hug. There was no touch, hugging, touching or flirting. She looked gorgeous. Stunning. You lose the ability. And shamed to hug with a numb genital hanging between your legs. She never saw me again and never wanted to see me again and shortly asked me to remove myself from her life.

At 26 I go out with another mental girl. She didn’t mean to but shouted and stated in an argument that no other girl would put up with this.

At 27 I try to have sex with a girl. She likes my body but not effectively having an erection (to even put a condom on) or maintain any half erection after 20 long minutes of hard working pressure (for 20 minutes) every time it goes down again! She never wants to see me again. She reminds me it’s not about the sex…

This happens some more…

I also endured a hurrendous also unspoken of drug (‘medication’) withdrawal. And endure other life changing permanent damage gifts every day. Like clogged up pain intestines every day, every meal and swollen painful burning eyes, exposed to any light everywhere. All the time! I feel trapped and prosecuted with control and cruelty into an unlivable, unchoicable corner. Do I have to stream my death on facebook live (by PSSD) just to get a hairbreaths of an outcry, to shine a light on this cruelty? Would all media and facebook continue to cover and bypass it still? Are they hoping with age and time this injustice will pass ever continuously silently by.

These sexual interference agents are given liberally, massively to children. Yet large studies suggest over 58% of obedient medication takers will be given sexual dysfunction from their antidepressants. Never mind the same phenomenon with ‘antipsychotics’. Is this not cruel?

Where is the outcry?

Or do the bodies float silently, shamefully & secretly by?

*PSSD (Post-SSRI Sexual Dysfunction) is irreversible sexual disfigurement caused by psychiatric drugs. Genital numbness and loss of arousal; or sexual dysfunction.

The same drugs are used to chemically castrate sex offenders. But they are also given to children… by ‘mental health’…

Get support for PSSD at the PSSDforums

I write a blog interviewing and documenting these serious humanitarian crimes called sterilising the mentally ill

The adverse effect charity RXISK are running a group campaign prize at the moment to cure PSSD. And in the process if successful will change the way drug companies run, to serve the people instead of profiting out of creating sickness.