This is a very bad lawyer. He is also lazy.
Being civilized in an argument doesn’t mean taking shit and remain all silent, quite to the contrary. It’s about turning the other’s slander and aggression against them in one’s favor in a calm but still aggressive way.
Whoever screams first has lost.
It’s what he probably feared, to end up in a shouting match, and that’s why he told you to stay quiet. But that’s why you take a lawyer, right? Because he or she isn’t as emotionally attached as yourself and they can argue for you aggressively while still remaining calm.
As I said, this one was a lazy ass. You’d have deserved better.