Signs of a Jealous/Fake Friend (PART II)
It can really be a bummer to wake up and find that the person you care about and love so much has suddenly changed on you. The friendship is different, they throw shade at you, and you feel like you lost your best friend. Unfortunately, this is very common in friendships today. People are more competitive than ever and social media has only caused our egos to rise. As a result, jealousy emerges. It is not always easy to detect a jealous or a fake friend, but here are some not-so-obvious signs that indicate that you may have a jealous friend.
1. They NEVER Compliment you.
Have you ever had a time when you were dressed up nice and felt super confident? You just got a new hairstyle, new outfit, and you just look flawless. As soon as you encounter your friend, they say nothing. Instead, they just look you up and down and try to find something wrong. I am not saying that your friend is entitled to compliment you, but it is a nice gesture. A true friend wants to hype you up and make you feel confident instead of trying to find a flaw. Something else to watch out for is friends who don’t tell you that they are proud of you. Let’s say that you just got accepted into your top graduate school. You finally tell you friend, and they just give a dry remark or say nothing at all. A true friend would be happy and congratulating you and telling you how proud they are of you. A real friend sees your hard work and they will notify you of it. If your friend does any of these negative behaviors, please let it go.
2. They say that your situation is “unfair” or you are just “lucky.”
Jealous people can never give credit when its due because they are not happy with themselves and their situation. Instead of working to improve themselves, they just sit around and count other people’s blessings. Sound familiar? For example, you just got promoted to be the CEO of the company you work for. You excitedly tell your friend, and they reply with, “Oh, you just got lucky. I’m sure they just needed to find a replacement for that position.” Keep in mind, when someone is not happy with themselves,they cannot be happy for you. Also, jealous people love to play the blame game and they always say that life isn’t fair. Let’s say that you and your significant other just planned a romantic summer vacation. You tell your friend about this plan, and they say, “That’s not fair. You always get to go on vacations, while I just stay home.” If you have ever had an experience similar to these, then you really need to reevaluate your friendship!
3. They never invite you out anymore.
If you are one of those people who just steal the show whenever you go out, then I am sure you have experienced this. Sometimes people are drawn to us for several different reasons. It could be our attractiveness, dress, personality, resources, or experiences. But, a jealous friend would not dare let you get all the attention. I have experienced this many times in my plethora of friendships. Not trying to toot my out horn, but I just seem to be that person that gets a lot of attention when I go out and people are just drawn to me without me even trying. I could be sitting alone at the bar and people will just come up to me and start a conversation. Many of my friends did not like this. For women especially, if you are the friend that gets all the guys when you go out with your friends, then you need to be on the lookout. Has that friend made side comments about how much attention you get? Has that friend stopped inviting you out to clubs, bars, parties, etc.? If so, then they are jealous! A jealous friend does not want you to get any attention, especially if they are feeling insecure within themselves. I remember I had friends in the past tell me that they didn’t want to hang out with me anymore because I’m “too pretty.” I also had friends tell me that they didn’t want to go with me to any clubs because all of guys wanted me instead of them. It really hurt my feelings when this happened to me. But it is best to be around people who are secure with themselves. If you have noticed that your friends do not invite you out anymore OR they changed the venues that they invite to, then they are some HATERS! If your friends used to invite you to parties and clubs, but now they invite you to their house for dinner, they are extremely jealous! RUN FAR FAR AWAY!!
4. They publicly humiliate you.
Have you ever been out with a group of friends and that one jealous friend just starts bringing up embarrassing things about you and tells your personal business? If this sounds familiar then that blabber mouth is probably jealous of you! Real friends know how to keep secrets and they truly want the best for you, and they wouldn’t even think of embarrassing you because they care about your feelings. If your friend spreads rumors about you, brings up a flaw about you while in a group, or posts embarrassing pictures of you on their social media platforms, then please remove them from your life. A jealous friend does not want people to see anything positive about you, so they will do their best to find something wrong, and they will try their hardest to do so. Let’s say that you and your friend group are going to the movies. You have on a nice outfit and you feel great! You enter the movie theater and as you begin to walk up the stairs, your friend trips you, causing you to spill your popcorn and drink all over your new clothes. It may be funny to some people, but this is a sign of jealousy. When a person envies you, they want only bad things to happen to you, and sometimes they will the cause of those bad things. Don’t go to the movies with that friend again!
5. They always try to compete with you.
Have you ever had a friend who always had to out-do you or try to upstage you? If you answered yes, then you may have a frenemy on your hands! If this person goes out of their way to make sure that they are better than you, then they are most likely jealous. For example, if you just found your perfect prom dress and your friend goes out of their way to get a more expensive one, then they may be plagued with envy. A real friend would not feel the need to compete with you because they are happy with themselves and they do not see you as competition. Jealous friends will always try to do something better than you. In addition, if you mention good news, such as a high grade on the test, and your friend replies with, “oh, that’s cool, but next time, I’m going to do better than you,” then that’s a clear indicator of jealousy. Watch for the people who step out of their character to compete with you as well. I remember I had a friend who was kind of tom-boyish. She didn’t really enjoy dressing up or wearing make-up, and she often wore boyish-like clothing and didn’t do much with her hair. As soon as we became friends, she started dressing girly, wore make-up, and got extensions, just as I did! She knew nothing about those things, but she would often try to compete with me. She would try to buy more expensive clothes than me, and wear expensive brands of makeup that she could barely afford. She basically went broke trying to look like me. Remember, there is only one of YOU! No matter how hard someone tries to be like you, they will never achieve it.
Having jealous and envious friends can be difficult, and what’s even more challenging is that we do not even realize that someone may be a victim of the green-eyed monster. If you have experienced any of these signs, then you should really be careful and update your friend group. Jealous friends are toxic for our lives, and no one needs them. Be around positive people who only want to see and help you grow!