I approach most things in life with the assumption that everyone else knows what they are doing. I am starting to question if this reasoning is accurate. How much do we really need to know. I think a designers job is to create, I believe the creative process should be organic, that is, it should be free from conscious thinking and influence. If that is true, then that means to truly create there is no possible way of knowing what you are doing and how it is going to turn out. This can make a lot of people anxious and as a new graduate in the creative field I am dealing with an irrational amount of anxiety. What am I doing? What do I hope to achieve? Would anyone get it or even like it?

Most people need a certain level of structure to move any intention forward, and the creative process, though organic should be kept within certain boundaries. That said, having too much structure would be to recreate something that already exists, to have too little would be challenging in making sense of anything.

I’m at this crossroad by chance. I had always planned on becoming an investment banker, but like a lot of people, things happened that lead me here. I enjoy the idea of creating and believe investment bankers through the investments they make in businesses are somewhat creatives. All I had worked towards was motivated towards that end goal, now I’m here. My structure was built around eventually working as an investment banker and I am still in conflict as to if that would ever happen. I’m a UI / UX Designer and I am not sure exactly what that means. I enjoy turning ideas into physical things, but I am tormented by the possibility that it won’t be understood or liked.

I am developing my own understanding of what I am as a UI/UX Designer. Creating my own rules organically but within certain boundaries, but the anxiety of dealing with this new uncertain career direction is challenging. As a profession and one that is relatively new, there aren’t many rules to follow. How do I make money from this? What is the true value of my skill? And what steps do I take to advance and what should I avoid. Oprah once said, do what you love and figure out how to make money from it. I love UI/UX Design and if I wasn’t working as an investment banker, it is the next best thing. But such a career direction shift is difficult, all I can do at this moment is to do great work and get people to notice my art and hope it all works out.

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