Took the words right out of my mouth.
Many of the things I enjoy most (including the work I do) are “male-dominated,” so it makes sense, if only statistically, that I end up bonding over common interests with many people who also happen to be males. And, lo and behold, I find myself with friends who are men.
Call me idealistic, but I’m pretty sure that most of my long-term guy friends aren’t running elaborate cons. But, every now and then this “friend-zone” business rears it’s ugly head — though that term hardly seems fitting, as it implies that I’m the one with all of the control in this situation. And, honestly, from this side of the fence, it doesn’t feel that way at all.
Since being contentedly single means I don’t get to wear the all-powerful “relationship status” armor, I’m left wondering how I can prevent the type of situation Abheek Talukdar described — a friendship lost, and resentment all around. And, to be clear, it’s not like it happens all that often. I’m not that cool, or hot, or social, for that matter. And, what was described in “How to know if you have been friend-zoned” isn’t a simple matter of being asked out, and turned down, or whatever quotidian “rejection” is. It’s not a compliment. It’s not an ego boost. It sucks.
If anyone missed “She Wanted to Do Her Research. He Wanted to Talk ‘Feelings,’” I can’t recommend it highly enough, because this “friend zone” mentality comes to work too. Being “professional” shouldn’t preclude being friends, but keeping the friendship part of things platonic isn’t about being a “manipulative bitch.”