Filling Out Your Online Dating Profile: 10 Best Tips to Let Your Story Shine
By Jessica Huhn for DateAha!
Ready to begin the next chapter in your life and search for a match online? You’ll need to fill out your dating profile first. And you’ll need to make sure that other serious relationship-seekers can easily find you. If you make the wrong moves, your profile will blend in with the sea of less serious online daters — and worse, possibly hide who you really are. But make the right moves, and the real you will shine through. DateAha! has your back with top 10 tips for filling out your profile, to best tell — and show — your authentic story.
1. Fill Out The Whole Profile — Don’t Skip Questions!
Take time to fill out every section of your profile, and to answer every question. If you only fill out part of your profile, other daters will think that you’re trying to hide something — or that you’re just lazy. Plus, every section you skip is a chance turned down to tell part of your story. (And answering a question with “I don’t know what to write,” “Ask me,” or “You tell me” is just as bad as skipping sections.)
2. Let Potential Matches See The Entire Picture
Showing who you really are in your profile photos makes you more attractive to other daters — they’ll love your honesty and self-confidence!
Make sure to choose:
- At least 4 photos that show you in a variety of outfits, poses, and situations
- Only photos that someone else has taken (no selfies, as they don’t look professional).
- Only photos that are recent — newer than 6 months old
- Only photos that actually have your face in them. Yep, that means no food, car, or motorcycle photos. And no photos that are actually of someone else, either (hello, that’s catfishing).
- Photos where others can clearly see your face. Your face must not be shadowed, blurry, absent, or obscured by a hat, sunglasses, or another object.
- Clear photos with good lighting.
- At least one full-body shot. This is the best way to show others who you really are — it makes you look even more self-confident, and you’ll gain more matches. Rock your authentic look!
- At least one active candid. Active is attractive — sporty candids will score you more matches. But make sure that the activities you show yourself doing are ones you regularly do in real life.
- Photos where you’re the only one present. So leave out the group shots and family shots — and especially leave out shots of individual friends. That way, people won’t have to guess which one you really are, and they won’t think you’re already taken.
3. Spotlight Your Humor
Both men and women value humor as one of the most important traits that they want in a date. So, you’ll have a higher chance of matching with someone if you pepper your profile with your unique brand of humor. Look for opportunities to be funny and creative in your profile answers, but don’t overdo it. Also, make sure that the humor’s natural, because people can tell if your humor’s too contrived.
4. Share Specific Interests
Be open about your specific hobbies, interests, and passions. Remember that your profile is your chance to tell your story and paint a vivid picture of who you are. Let your creativity out! Don’t be vague about what you enjoy, or else your profile will become the boring book that daters are forced to read several times over
Don’t say “I love laughing” or “I love having fun.”
Instead, share details about your interests and passions — -the more unique the better!
Don’t say “I like to read/go to the movies/watch Netflix/watch TV.”
Instead, what are your favorite books? Movies? TV shows? Show and movie genres?
Don’t say “I love music.”
Instead, list your favorite songs, artists, and/or genres. Or, if you’re a musician, let people know if you sing, or what instrument you play — and list your favorite genres to perform.
Don’t say “I’m a sports fan” or “I’m sporty.”
Instead, what are your favorite sports to watch or play?
Don’t say “I like long walks on the beach.” or “I love to travel.”
Instead, what are your three favorite destinations? What is your absolute favorite destination and why? Or, what is the destination you’d most like to visit in the future?
Don’t say “I enjoy eating out.”
Instead, list your favorite dishes and cuisines to eat (or cook).
Don’t say “I’m looking for a good time.” “Good time” reads as code for “sex/a hook-up,” even if that isn’t what you want.
Instead, talk about the items on your bucket list. Or, share the hobbies you turn to whenever you have time to spare.
Don’t say “I’m adventurous.”
Instead, briefly talk about one or two favorite adventures that you’ve gone on, and why you enjoyed them.
Don’t say “I’m equally happy going out or staying in,” or anything similar. You won’t stand out with this phrase, because way too many people slap it on their dating profile.
Instead, what are some of the most unique things you’ve ever done? Let potential matches know!
5. Keep Things Short And Sweet
Your description of yourself shouldn’t be longer than a short paragraph, and responses to questions should be a few sentences, max. If you go on and on about yourself, daters will get bored and move on to the next profile. Plus, forcing yourself to be brief can help you think of creative ways to tell your story — ones where every word truly counts.
6. Plant Questions In Your Profile To Open Dialogue
When mentioning your favorite activities in your profile, segue to related questions. This will make it easier for your match to figure out what to say in your conversations — and get rid of that awkward silence. It’s like you’re making the first move in a conversation, before that conversation even starts!
Try questions like these:
- “I love cooking and eating Asian cuisine. What are some of your favorite foods?”
- “My favorite travel destination is Rome. Where’s your favorite place to visit?”
- “I love comedic horror movies, like Beetlejuice and Little Shop of Horrors. What are some of your favorite movies?”
- “I just finished reading The Kite Runner, and I loved it. What books do you recommend?”
7. Stay Positive
Focus on the positive aspects of who you are and what you enjoy doing. Don’t include any negativity or rants in your profile, and don’t rattle off a list of pet peeves. Also, don’t unload any baggage — leave out any details about past relationships, health issues, or financial troubles.
8. Proofread Your Profile
Every author must proofread their story. Typos can be a real turnoff for some people. Plus, having a clean profile with no mistakes makes a good impression — it doesn’t look like you rushed.
9. Add Social Media Links
If the dating site lets you add links to your Facebook, Instagram, or other social profiles, take advantage of this. Your social profiles will help potential matches get to know you even better — and it helps them see that you’re a real person, not a fake profile. But make sure that you delete or archive any pics that you don’t want prospective dates to see (like photos of exes) first.
10. Tell the Truth!
Honesty is the best policy, so share your real age, height, figure, interests, accomplishments, and relationship status in your profile. And make sure all the photos you use show your own real face and body. If you spin a fake story, people will find out eventually — and no one likes being lied to. So telling the truth is way more comfortable. Plus, showing the real you will attract more matches —according to Zoosk, people prioritize honesty over most other traits when they’re looking for a date.
But what happens if you see someone else’s profile, and you can tell they’re faking it? This is a serious problem. Little white lies about age, height, and appearance on dating profiles are becoming more and more “accepted” — and this enables more serious liars to get away with their dirty work. More serious liars include those nasty catfishers, who craft totally fake profile stories (photos and all) to manipulate others into giving up money, goods, or sex. And there are also the people who have a history of sexual abuse, violence or stalking, who use lie-ridden dating profiles to do their dirty work and endanger people’s safety.
And dating sites take little to no action against these individuals, leading toxic people to further believe that they can continue to get away with these inappropriate actions.
But what if there was a way to filter out these toxic individuals beforehand, so you can spend more time getting to know honest people who are serious about seeking a relationship?
There is, thanks to DateAha!, a browser extension that lets you leave comments on any dating profile, as well as view and reply to others’ comments.
If you encounter a dater who behaves inappropriately (on their profile or in their messages), you can leave negative feedback on the toxic individual’s profile, and warn other daters. So, genuine daters like you can feel safe and confident in their online dating choices, because you’ll know which profiles to stay away from. And the fear of negative feedback will force the most toxic daters off of the sites. No more wasted time with toxic people means a happy ending for honest daters everywhere!
DateAha! is working to make the online dating climate safer, saner, and more civil for everyone.
Use DateAha! for free comments and messaging on any dating site.
