The WORST things to add to your online dating profile — Stay away from these mistakes!
By Jessica Huhn for DateAha!
If you’re looking for a match and turn to online dating to find one, you’ll want your profile to separate yourself from the pack. Unfortunately, it’s very easy to either blend in with a cliche-filled profile…or stand out in the absolute WORST way. DateAha! is here to help you avoid these mistakes and increase your chances of success.
Fails To Avoid When Filling Out Your Profile
The lazy question response: This is just as bad as leaving a profile section blank. Don’t answer a question with “I don’t know what to write,” “Ask me,” or “You tell me.” Daters don’t like to see profiles with little effort involved.
The list of pet peeves or turnoffs: Don’t rattle off what you don’t want in a date with a “Don’t bother messaging me if…” list. This comes off as too demanding. Also, it may close your door to someone who you’re actually quite compatible with!
The list of specific demands: You can’t get away with a super-specific “only message me if” list, either. That just looks high-maintenance. And again, you could be eliminating people who are great fits! (Phrases like “Looking for someone with a twisted sense of humor to match my own” are perfectly fine — they’re still open and don’t sound demanding.)
The fake age (or height, or weight): Once they meet you in person, people will find out if you’ve shaved years off of your age, or pounds off of your weight. And they’ll definitely be able to tell if you exaggerated your height!
Lies about your interests or accomplishments: Don’t fake your passions just so you “have things in common” with people you’re interested in, or “seem more attractive.” Once you start messaging back and forth, they’ll find holes in your stories and see right through you.
ANY lies: Seriously. Just tell the truth — it’s way easier, and people want to date people who are honest! Lying will always lead to someone catching you red-handed.
“I’m new at this:” This overused phrase won’t earn you any sympathy. In fact, it will likely signal that you’re fresh, vulnerable meat to catfishers and other scammers. Plus, it shows that you’re uncomfortable. Avoid this phrase, so you’ll seem more confident.
Your email, full address, or phone number: Save this for people you’ve really gotten to know well, who have earned your trust. Again, don’t make yourself an easy target for scammers.
Blatant cliches: Even if you do like long walks on the beach, traveling, eating out, laughing, or “having fun,” you’ll have a lot of competition. And stay away from phrases like “I’m equally happy going out with friends or staying in with a DVD and a bottle of wine” (Match.com says that’s one of the most overused phrases on profiles).
Instead, list interests and passions that are more unique. For example, if you’re a traveler, list favorite destinations. If you’re a foodie, list your favorite dishes to eat (or make), or favorite restaurants. And as far as media, list your favorite books, TV/online shows, or movies rather than saying you “like reading” or “love sitting on the couch and watching Netflix.”
Especially, these blatant cliches:
- “I’m easy-going/laid-back:” What does this even mean?
- “I love life:” How original. Not!
- “I love my family:” Well, of course you do!
- “I’m looking for a partner in crime:” This phrase is so overused, it’s criminal.
- “My friends say I’m…:” Thinking about how your friends would describe you can genuinely help you fill out an online dating profile. But don’t actually preface anything you think your friends say with “My friends say!”
- “I’m looking for a good time”: “Good time” reads as code for “sex/a hook-up,” even if that isn’t what you want.
- “I’m fun/I’m adventurous:” Give specific examples of what you like to do for fun, or of your past/present adventures instead.
Details of past relationships, especially recent ones: This isn’t an airport — dating profiles aren’t the place to unload that baggage.
Long-windedness: Don’t let your potential matches pull a TL:DR and walk away. Limit your description of yourself to a short paragraph, and responses to questions to a few sentences.
Negativity, especially negativity about dating: People don’t want to hear you rant, and you don’t want others to think you’re bitter.
Photo Pitfalls to Avoid
A picture’s worth a thousand words, so don’t post any photos that scream “stay away!” Avoid all of these types of photos.
Old pictures: No one wants to see what you looked like five years ago. Instead, they want to see who you are here and now.
The bathroom selfie: Just no. No one wants to see those. In fact, avoid all selfies, as they limit your poses and angles. Especially avoid a selfie from behind the wheel. Even if you aren’t actually driving at the time, it looks like you’re snapping a pic while driving, and putting your life at risk.
The pic with the playful Snapchat filter: That dog filter, and basically any other novelty filter from social media, looks totally unprofessional. Plus, it obscures some of your facial features.
Shots with sunglasses (or a hat): The old-fashioned way of hiding your face. People will think you’re concealing a lot more than those eyes. Same goes for that “back to the camera” shot — delete that one, too.
Blurry or out-of-focus pictures: Don’t post photos with bad quality, poor focus, or lighting that hides your face. Instead, take the time and put in the effort to present photos where potential matches can see your face clearly.
Inappropriate photos: Don’t flip off the camera in any profile photos, or post any sexually suggestive poses.
Someone else’s photos: This is catfishing! People who meet you in person won’t be happy when they discover that you didn’t use photos of yourself. In fact, many people will catch you red-handed beforehand, and never let you have an in-person date!
Photoshopped shots: People would rather see how you truly look than an “enhanced” (but false) version of yourself. Honesty and self-confidence will get you much further than faking it.
A group photo as your main pic: Don’t keep your match guessing about which one you are. Especially avoid photos of both you and a single person of the opposite sex — that makes you look like you’re already taken.
Food photos (or car photos, or bike photos… you get the idea.): People want to see what you look like, not what your ride or last meal (so weird) looks like. So, don’t post any photos that don’t show your face!
Poses with your car or bike: Even though you are in these photos, it still looks like you’re flaunting your ride in an attempt to impress. And guys, trust me. This is definitely a turnoff.
NO photos at all: If someone sees a photo-free profile, they’ll usually pass it by because they don’t have any reason to trust you.
So, you’ve avoided all of the dating profile pitfalls. You’ve had some success with getting matches. But wait — there’s still a big problem…
You keep coming across other people who post concealing or Photoshopped pictures, and avoid giving you enough info in their profiles by employing the dreaded “ask me. Even worse, you match with some seemingly attractive people, but then you find out that they lied about their age, their accomplishments, or even their entire identity. Is there anything you can do?
Turn to DateAha!, a feedback platform that integrates with any dating profile, and lets you leave and reply to comments on dating profiles. Use feedback to call out the liars and hold them accountable for their actions! That way, more daters will be honest and open, and the dating world will be safer and saner for everyone.
Use DateAha! for free comments and messaging on any dating profile.
