“We Believe:” Gillette got it right…but we have a long way to go.
By Jessica Huhn for DateAha!
DateAha! is passionate about giving the online dating community the tools to hold men accountable for their inappropriate actions. So, it’s only fitting that we’re excited about Gillette’s latest commercial about toxic masculinity, sexual harassment, and the need for male accountability. Gillette knows exactly what needs to be done — men need to take responsibility for their history of misconduct. Unfortunately, the commercial faced large amounts of backlash online, a response that shows just how much society needs solid male accountability systems.
What is Toxic Masculinity?
Before diving into the Gillette commercial, it’s important to define the toxic masculinity that Gillette seeks to combat.
Toxic masculinity stems from men’s belief that harassing, objectifying, abusing, and dominating women is “manly” or a “normal” part of being a man, fueled by a society that does not hold men accountable for these behaviors.
Also, a major component of toxic masculinity is the reliance on violence to intimidate or dominate others (regardless of gender). This is motivated by media that harmfully shows this violence as “manly.” In conjunction with these harmful societal messages come others about the opposite response: that showing genuine emotion and healthy restraint are “feminine” signs of weakness, which men must avoid at all costs.
So, a man who harasses, objectifies, or abuses women, regularly lashes out in violence against others to show domination, or engages in an act of extreme violent behavior, is engaging in toxic masculine behavior.
The Gillette Commercial: Breaking It Down
“Is this the best a man can get?” Gillette opens its commercial by challenging its own 30-year-old tagline — and society’s history of sexual harassment, abuse, and toxic masculinity. “We can’t hide from it. It’s been going on far too long.” Meanwhile, a vintage black-and-white cartoon, a few live-action tv shows, and even one of Gillette’s own commercials flash by, showing scenes of sexual harassment and the objectification of women throughout televised history.
Men just sit there, accepting what they see as “normal.” In fact, some people (both men and women) even laugh at the scenes, dismissing what they see as harmless entertainment.
Then, the scenes shift towards harassment in the workplace, unchecked, and to a cookout where two young boys fight, dismissed by a line of grilling men with the outdated excuse “boys will be boys.”
“But something finally changed,” says the commercial, referencing the #metoo movement through news reports.
The commercial reaches its climax as Terry Crews, actor, comedian and sexual assault survivor, calls on men to stand up against harassment and misconduct: “Men need to hold other men accountable.” Crews is the perfect voice for this rallying cry, as his assault reports were largely dismissed and criticized by other men, especially within Hollywood.
Now, as the men’s’ eyes are opened to the problems of harassment and toxic masculinity, they witness the inappropriate conduct around them with a critical view. Rather than standing by, these men call each other out for objectifying women, encourage other men to stop bullying, and condemn violent behavior against both women and other men.
Gillette believes that this is “the best men can be” — when men develop, accept, and uphold systems that hold each other accountable for toxic behavior. It’s everyone’s job to fight against harassment, but the group that holds the most responsibility for these inappropriate actions needs to step up the most and set the example for future generations. After all, as the commercial concludes, “the boys watching today will be the men of tomorrow.”
Gillette Takes Action
Gillette has backed up its commercial with meaningful action. The company has pledged to donate $3 million over 3 years to “non-profit…programs in the United States designed to inspire, educate and help men of all ages…become role models for the next generation.” (Programs include the Boys and Girls Clubs of America.) It has also launched thebestmencanbe.org, a page that clarifies the brand’s stance against toxic masculinity.
In addition, Gillette’s commercial also empowers women, despite its clear messages aimed at men. And that’s not only through its solidarity with sexual abuse and harassment survivors, and its support of the #metoo movement.
It does so by affirming the value of women’s voices and perspectives.
After all, a female director, Kim Gehrig, was at the helm of this commercial. Procter and Gamble (which owns Gillette) selected Gehrig as part of the Free the Bid program, an effort that aims at hiring more women to direct commercials.
The Backlash: We Have A Long Way To Go
Unfortunately, responses to this ad on YouTube and Twitter show that we have a long way to go, because many men aren’t thrilled about being “called out.” Many comments and tweets followed one of three patterns: “I’m going to boycott Gillette;” “Go woke, go broke;” and “I don’t need to be preached at.”
Worse yet is the dislike to like ratio. At the time I compiled this article (two days after the video’s release), the video had more than 300,000 dislikes, compared with 60,000 likes.
These comments and dislikes demonstrate that men don’t expect to be held accountable for their own toxic behavior. Or, as Twitter user @PlanchatCubana sums it up perfectly, “[men] were hoping people would continue to tell them that ‘boys will be boys’ is an acceptable way to be.”
Twitter user @jessixlin also hits the nail on the head — some men who are criticizing the Gillette ad “obviously have something to hide,” and are scared that they will suffer consequences after it is unearthed, especially in this #metoo era.
The majority of these angry men almost certainly believe that the societal problem of toxic masculinity isn’t their responsibility. Or, as comedian Pete Dominick affirms, “If you are a man who HATES the new Gillette ad then you are most likely part of the problem.”
As for Gillette’s own response to this criticism? Here’s what a spokesperson told CNBC:
“For every negative reaction, we’ve seen many positive reactions…At the end of the day, sparking conversation is what matters. This gets people to pay attention to the topic and encourages them to consider taking action to make a difference.”
And DateAha! is doing just that, by developing a system that holds men accountable for toxic behavior on dating sites.
An Accountability System for Online Dating
Just like almost everywhere else, men think that they will not suffer any consequences for inappropriate behavior online, especially on dating websites.
Worse, dating sites do nothing to combat this behavior. Sometimes, they let repeat offenders continue to use their services with no consequences, and even ignore abuse reporters. Thus, men continue to behave dishonestly, rudely, and sexually aggressively on dating sites without repercussion, and women continue to face inappropriate messages and sexually explicit behavior.
But Stan Bradbury developed DateAha! to change that. DateAha! lets dating site users leave comments on any dating profile, as well as view and reply to others’ comments. So, if someone behaves toxically, the victims of this behavior can report it directly via comments, and hold the bad actor accountable for their actions. Thus, users can be sure that their matches will not be rude or sexually aggressive. Fear of negative feedback will weed out dangerous actors, and the dating world will be much safer and saner.
Use DateAha! for free comments and messaging on any dating site.
