First Date Blues

Datespace
3 min readJun 7, 2019

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On the 6th of February 2019, we held our breath and for the first time ever, we shared the link to Datespace and since then, it’s been a right rollercoaster!

We have gone from 0 to making 25 dates happen in that time and this here is the beginning of a series where we’ll be taking you behind the scenes to share some of the exciting and interesting insights we’re garnering.

Photo by Arthur Marshall on Unsplash

Did you know…

…women are more likely to have the jitters before a first date but that switch gets flipped after the date and men are more likely to have post-date apprehensions?

Before the date, some of the typical concerns we get from ladies include:

· I’ve never done this before, I’m nervous and not sure about it.
We let them know it’s totally understandable; there’s always a first time and oftentimes the things we truly seek are on the other side of fear.

· I don’t want to waste my time, can you find out what he is looking for on Datespace?

We say okay, sure thing! …and then we ask her date — She’s curious to know what your motivations for being on the platform are J

· What if we don’t have anything to talk about?

We tell them we email conversation starters to the guys so they’ll have great ice-breakers and lots of things to talk about.

· Can I have more information about him?

We remind them the only information we currently share is a first name, a picture and a match score and the whole point of the date is to meet-up and find out all they would like to know about their match as there’s only so much that anyone can decipher from a picture.

· What if I don’t want to give him my number?
We tell them not to feel pressured and not to share their number if they don’t want to, after the date if they change their mind they could come back to us and we’d be more than happy to facilitate the exchange of numbers

Meanwhile…

Men typically ask no questions at all and when they have, on several occasions, it has been…

What if she stands me up?

We mention their date has also paid for the service, signalling her commitment to the date as well and usually, their response is along the lines of, ‘Oh, great! Let’s do this then!’

Interestingly, after the date, the switch gets flipped and more men have post-date apprehensions. In very few words, they inadvertently let on they are wondering what impression they made on their date, and if she really enjoyed their company.

Meanwhile, the women had no such concerns, after the date, every single one of them was literally basking in the euphoria of the whole experience and often would volunteer information on what their date did right or what they didn’t do that for them was wrong.

There’s a lot more juicy bits so look out for our next post where we’ll share insider info on what women want, but first, here’s a tidbit-

“… I would have liked to be ushered to my seat as it wasn’t the type of chair that could be pulled out. Even if it was, since he didn’t stand, he definitely wouldn’t have pulled out my seat, but let’s just give him the benefit of the doubt. When we were leaving, he didn’t let me go out first as per “Ladies first”.
I just felt like he could have put in more to treat me like a lady. I wasn’t even complimented once. But the conversation was nice.”

We bet you’ve got first date stories, are you usually nervous before the date or does the jitters set in after the date or maybe you’re an all-around confident person who never has to deal with stuff like that or maybe you’re just a serial first-dater who’s adept at first date skills? Wherever you fall along the spectrum, do share your experience with us in the comments, we would absolutely love that!

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Datespace

Datespace is an on-demand dating service that matches singles using a percentage compatibility score and brings matches to connect over a drinks date.