Descriptive Writing with ChatGPT
Using Iain M. Banks to Inspire ChatGPT
Introduction
In a previous article, I focused on some overall tips for fiction writing. In this piece, I will zoom in on descriptive writing.
Rather than use ChatGPT’s standard descriptions, or tell it to write “in the style of” another writer, I’ll analyze some descriptive text using ChatGPT, then use that analysis to inspire better descriptive writing.
Typical ChatGPT Description
Here’s a standard ChatGPT prompt for description.
The following is the [description topic]: On a mountainside overlooking Taipei, a traditional Taiwanese temple with a broken statue of a phoenix. Please use 250 words to describe the [description topic].
And here is the result:
Perched atop a majestic mountainside, overlooking the bustling metropolis of Taipei, lies a traditional Taiwanese temple. Its architecture is a blend of traditional Chinese and Taiwanese styles, with intricate carvings and colorful murals adorning the walls. The temple is a popular destination for both locals and tourists, who come to admire its beauty and pay their respects to the deities it houses.
As you enter the temple grounds, your eyes are immediately drawn to the main hall, where a large statue of a phoenix stands. The phoenix, a mythical bird of ancient Chinese and East Asian cultures, is known for its beauty, power and the ability to be reborn from its ashes. This statue, however, is different from the others you might have seen. It is broken. The once proud bird’s head lies in pieces on the ground, its wings are missing and its tail feathers are scattered.
The broken statue of the phoenix is a reminder of the temple’s history….
[we now get about 100 words describing the history of this fake temple, and the symbolic meaning of the phoenix in Taiwanese culture]
…Visiting this traditional Taiwanese temple is a moving experience, and the broken statue of the phoenix is a powerful reminder of the temple’s history and the resilience of the human spirit. It’s a beautiful blend of history, culture and spirit that makes this place a must-visit destination.
There are a few things I observe about this writing — the POV is “you,” the writing is very interested in the historical significance of this (fake) temple, the writing uses many “be” verbs, and the writing has a generally flat lifeless feeling. It reads like a travel guide and is not suitable for fiction writing.
Writing “in the Style of…”
One solution to this problem is writing “in the style of” another writer.
On a mountainside overlooking Taipei, a traditional Taiwanese temple with a broken statue of a phoenix. Describe this temple in the style of Hemingway.
Here’s the result:
The temple sits on the mountainside, overlooking Taipei. It is traditional, made of aged wood and adorned with intricate carvings. Inside, incense burns, filling the air with a thick, heady scent. But amidst the serenity, there is a hint of sorrow. A statue of a phoenix, once a symbol of rebirth and renewal, lies broken in the corner. The temple-goers come and go, but the broken phoenix remains, a reminder of something lost…
In my opinion, there are a few issues with this approach. First, many people question the ethics of it — at what point does this become plagiarism? Perhaps “amidst the serenity, there is a hint of…” comes directly from a Hemingway work.
Second, this only works with writers who have a large corpus of text already publicly available and incorporated into ChatGPT. So Fitzgerald and Shakespeare work fine, but as we move into 21st century fiction, the results drop off.
Third, the results aren’t great. For instance, I noticed when I asked ChatGPT to write like Malcolm Gladwell, the phrase “the tipping point” crept into every paragraph. What I love about Gladwell’s writing — the personal style, the rhetorical devices — were all missing or childishly aped.
What follows is my recommendation — teach the AI to write in your favorite style, instead of trying to mimic another writer.
Selections from Iain M. Banks
I’m a big Iain M. Banks fan. His Culture series is some of the best writing on utopian futures and AI philosophy. But what jumps out from a prose perspective is his descriptive writing. Here’s a sample:
He could smell the earth and the trees around the shallow lake beneath the balcony. It was a cloudy night and very dark, just a hint of glow directly above, where the clouds were lit by the shining Plates of the Orbital’s distant daylight side. Waves lapped in the darkness, loud slappings against the hulls of unseen boats. Lights twinkled round the edges of the lake, where low college buildings were set among the trees.
The party was a presence at his back, something unseen, surging like the sound and smell of thunder from the faculty building; music and laughter and the scents of perfumes and food and exotic, unidentifiable fumes.
-Iain M. Banks, the Player of Games
Beautiful stuff. I’d like ChatGPT to describe my Taiwanese temple in the same way. How can I do it?
Analyzing the Selections
First, collect a number of descriptive samples that you love. These don’t need to be from the same writer, but you’ll get better results if they are from similar writers. I chose a number of Banks’s quotes, and input them as follows:
The following are [Banks Description]: He could smell the earth…
ChatGPT will analyze these samples for all sorts of things — writing style, but also topic and content. We want to narrow in on a few important aspects of the writing. Try the following command.
You are an expert in fiction writing and natural language processing(NLP). You’ve been teaching writing for over 20 years. Analyze [Banks Description] for style, voice, and tone.
Now, you’ll notice that the AI is close-reading the text and providing more thoughtful responses.
If ChatGPT says that the writing is “rich,” ask follow up questions:
What makes the writing “rich”?
Here are a few more prompts to illicit the AI’s opinion on Banks’s writing:
Identify the most noticeable differences between [Banks Description] and typical fiction writing.
…
Sort [Banks Description] sentences into 10 piles and describe what you think is the most noticeable difference between them. As an NLP expert, you will notice and focus on the use of language in the sentences, rather than the topic of the sentence.
…
As an NLP expert, focus on lengths of sentences, use of punctuation, and the use of parts-of-speech to differentiate [Banks Description] from typical descriptive writing.
…
As an NLP expert, focus on adjective and noun choice in [Banks Description]. Do you notice anything unique or unusual?
What am I doing here? First, I’m constantly reminding the AI that it is a NLP (natural language processing) expert so that it remains focused on parts-of-speech, rather than contextualizing bits and pieces of story. Second, I’m looking for concrete suggestions — sentence length, use of nouns, verbs, etc. Third, I’m using various different question structures to find different results — sorting sentences into piles, comparing and differentiating with other types of writing, focusing on specific details.
The result is a conversation full of ChatGPT’s impression of Banks’s writing. From that, I edit and extract down to the following paragraph:
Use contemplative and introspective verbs to create a contemplative and introspective tone. Use minimal “be” verbs. Use a distant, third person omniscient voice. Reflect on the different scents, sounds, and sights of the scene. Use many wide-ranging descriptive adjectives and nouns to create a rich, vivid, and immersive scene. Use many abstract nouns, adjectives, and adverbs to create a sense of mystery and to add an evocative, otherworldly atmosphere. Use long, complex sentences that contain multiple clauses. The average number of words per sentence should be 25.6 with a range of 12–47. The average number of words per clause should be 8.6 with a range of 4–18. Topics for description should include the effect of light on the scene, the architecture, the sky, and the trees.
Using the Banks Analysis
Now, I will use the above paragraph as instructions for ChatGPT.
NOTE: I suggest starting a new chat before you do this. Remember that ChatGPT leverages things mentioned previously in the chat, so it helps to start with a clean slate.
Here’s my prompt:
On a mountainside overlooking Taipei, a traditional Taiwanese temple with a broken statue of a phoenix.
Describe this scene using the following instructions: Use contemplative and introspective verbs to create a contemplative and introspective tone. Use minimal “be” verbs. Use a distant, third person omniscient voice. Reflect on the different scents, sounds, and sights of the scene. Use many wide-ranging descriptive adjectives and nouns to create a rich, vivid, and immersive scene. Use many abstract nouns, adjectives, and adverbs to create a sense of mystery and to add an evocative, otherworldly atmosphere. Use long, complex sentences that contain multiple clauses. The average number of words per sentence should be 25.6 with a range of 12–47. The average number of words per clause should be 8.6 with a range of 4–18. Topics for description should include the effect of light on the scene, the architecture, the sky, and the trees.
And here is the result:
Perched atop a verdant mountainside, overlooking the bustling metropolis of Taipei, stands a stately temple, its intricately-carved wooden beams and ornate tilework bathed in the golden hues of the setting sun. The gentle whispers of the swaying bamboo groves and the melodic chirping of the songbirds provide a soothing accompaniment to the solemn stillness that pervades the temple grounds.
As one approaches the temple, the solemnity of the scene is punctuated by the forlorn sight of a broken statue of a phoenix, its once-proud form now a mere shadow of its former glory, its shattered pieces scattered about the temple courtyard like a forgotten relic.
The temple itself exudes a sense of timelessness and mystery, its ancient architecture and intricate details evoking a sense of awe and reverence. The gentle breeze carries with it the fragrant scent of incense and the heady aroma of blooming flowers, adding to the ethereal atmosphere of the scene.
As the sun dips below the horizon, the sky is painted in a riot of colors — deep purples and oranges, giving way to the inky blackness of night. The stars twinkle like diamonds in the sky and the crescent moon casts its silver light on the temple, creating a sense of otherworldliness and wonder.
As one stands there, taking in the beauty of the scene, it is easy to become lost in contemplation, to reflect on the transience of life and the fleeting nature of beauty. The temple and its broken statue serve as a reminder of the impermanence of all things, and the need to cherish and appreciate the beauty in our lives, before it too is lost to time.
The Final Edit
Personally, I still feel this is overwritten and I don’t love the structure, so I do a final “human edit” to get something I like:
On a mountainside overlooking Taipei stands a stately temple, intricately-carved wooden beams and ornate tilework, a riot of colors bathed in the golden hues of the setting sun, ancient architecture that exudes timelessness and reverence.
A gentle breeze carries with it the fragrant scent of incense and the heady aroma of blooming flowers. The whispers of the swaying bamboo groves and the melodic chirping of the songbirds provide a soothing accompaniment to the solemn stillness that pervades the temple grounds.
As the sun dips below the horizon, giving way to the inky blackness of night, the crescent moon casts its silver light on the otherworldly temple. Solemnity is punctuated by the forlorn sight of a broken phoenix, the once-proud statue now a mere shadow of its former glory, its shattered pieces scattered about the courtyard.
The temple and its forgotten relic serve as a reminder of the impermanence of all things, and the need to cherish beauty before it is lost to time. Beauty by its nature is fleeting; life by its nature is transient.
Conclusions
Ask ChatGPT to describe something, and you will get the most average possible description of that thing — plain vanilla brochure ad-speak.
Ask ChatGPT to write like someone else, and the results will be at best uncertain, at worst unethical plagiarism.
Instead, import some text from your favorite writers. Work with ChatGPT to discover what you like about the writing, then build a paragraph of instruction. This process may take an hour, but you can reuse these paragraphs to get great results in the future.
Finally, edit what ChatGPT gives you. Don’t expect the results to be perfect.
