Dave Karner
Aug 31, 2018 · 3 min read

Scene #10

INT. IWANAHAKALOOKI CAMP DORM — NIGHT

RUSS, age 9, lies on his top bunk, a flashlight showing us he’s writing a letter.

RUSS (V.O.): Dear Mom and Dad, I am having fun here at summer camp. They have lots of things for us to do. The first day we had to learn the rules.

FLASHBACK:

EXT. CAMP — DAY

One hundred CAMPERS of various ages sit cross-legged in front of a low stage. DOROTHY, (50’s) wearing a yellow camp polo with beige shorts and a silver whistle around her neck, stands in the center reading from her clipboard.

DOROTHY: Number 22 — no food in the dormitories. You eat in the cafeteria during meal hours only.

CAMPER #1, a red-headed, freckled boy munches on a candy bar as he listens.

A YOUNG MALE CAMP COUNSELOR looks over lustfully at a YOUNG FEMALE CAMP COUNSELOR who returns the look.

RUSS: The second day, we got to go swimming and canoeing. I kinda did both at once.

EXT. LAKE — DAY

Dozens of life-jacketed kids are loading into canoes in pairs. Russ awaits his partner, CAMPER #2, trying very hard to carefully transfer his over-weight body into the canoe.

Russ’ eyes go wide.

Camper #2 PLOPS into the canoe, a LOUD CREAKING as the canoe shifts violently from one side to another.

FROM UNDERWATER

Russ PLUNGES into the water, swimming back to the surface.

RUSS (V.O.): I had a strange dream and woke up with my hand all wet.

INT. IWANAHAKALOOKI CAMP DORM — NIGHT

Russ is asleep with his arm dangling from the top bunk. TWO OLDER CAMPERS sneak up carrying a plastic tub of water. They put Russ’ hand in the water for TWO BEATS. As Russ begins to stir, the two campers sneak off with their plastic tub, GIGGLING.

Russ sits up and pulls his covers off, looking down. As he climbs down the bunk ladder, we see his FRONT COVERED IN PEE.

RUSS (V.O.): Yesterday, we went on a nature hike, where I learned about the birds and the bees.

EXT. FOREST — DAY

Russ sneaks about the forest with a small net and a magnifying glass, looking at bugs and flowers. A RUSTLE in the woods alerts him and he sneaks over silently. A YOUNG CAMP COUNSELOR MOANS as she gets closer to orgasm.

Russ’ eyes scrunch up and he cocks his head as he has no idea what he’s looking at.

RUSS (V.O.): Yesterday, I even got to see science in action.

INT. CAMP BATHROOM — NIGHT

A GROUP OF BOYS gather in a wide shower room with small tiles on the floor in black and white, urinals and toilets. Russ is bent over with his pants down. Smiling, Russ gives everyone the ‘thumbs up’ signal. From off-screen, an arm reaches in with a LIGHTER FLAME, disappearing behind him. Russ’ eye squint as he RIPS A HUGE FART. A bright flame ignites. The boys watching OOOH and AHHH. Right after the flash, Russ’ shirt lights on fire.

CAMPER #3: Fire! Fire!

Russ starts running away, shorts around his ankles, his shirt in flames. Several campers swoop in to PAT out the flames with their HANDS.

BACK TO SCENE:

RUSS (V.O.): Thank you for sending me to camp. I will write again soon. I love you, Russ.

Russ turns out the flashlight sending us into BLACK.

    Dave Karner

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