Wanted: Engineer who Jams the Fizz in your Buzz.

Mylestoned is looking for a full-stack engineer who can deliver on our 50-year plan.

  • Aged 13–95. Male, female or ocelot.
  • Puts Butt Paste on ears to reduce headphone chaff from incessant coding.
  • Realizes that the only non-reusable design patterns should be in the kitchen.
  • Wants the sales team to cram ‘what-they-just-sold-that-we-don’t-have’ up their asses.
  • Has quietly figured out a compression time-bending formula that provides 67.6 minutes for every daytime hour.
  • Is often referred to as absurd, insane, paradoxical and brave. Terrifies and confuses most normal humans.
  • Is fully aware that one doesn’t pet Rabbit or eat Celery.
  • Stoned: not mildly.
  • Will alpaca-spit in your face if asked to produce this:


public static void main(String[] args){

for(int i = 1; i <= 100; i++){
String test = "";
test += (i % 3) == 0 ? "fizz" : "";
test += (i % 5) == 0 ? "buzz" : "";
System.out.println(!test.isEmpty() ? test : i);

Stack Stack City: Python, Flask, SQLAlchemy (ORM), PostgreSQL, RabbitMQ/Celery, Redis **** React > Flux > ES6 > Babel > Webpack **** TensorFlow, Numpy/Scipy (Not lumpy Skippy. Stick to the creamy stuff).

We don’t give two squats how many years or where you spent them. Just be better.

About Mylestoned.

Let’s work together.

No Alpacas or Ocelots were harmed during the writing of this post, so give it a ❤ below, ya?