How To Win All Your Battles Today…
You can only read life backwards.
History is forever and already set in stone.
The past is a learning curve full of insights, successes and lucky experiences that you may be forgiven to think it was driven by chance.
But it wasn’t.
Your life is driven by your choices, unexpected events and what you decide at any given time to do about them.
Basically, it’s all about your choices.
I agree that some stuff happened which was out of your control.
A partner leaving, your company closing and an illness that hurt — you have years of numerous painful examples to mention.
That’s always going to happen on a daily basis but the ONE THING you can control is WHAT YOU DECIDE TO DO ABOUT IT.
We have 3 natural in built responses within our DNA which are engineered into our being from ancestors facing a predator who wandered into their cave.
The bear was probably going to attack and eat them so they have default options:
- Fight — Your blood rushes to your fists and heart pumps ready to unleash your best attacks.
- Flight — Your heart kicks in and sends blood rushing to your legs and you run as fast as possible away from danger.
- Freeze — Your brain and your body slow down so you can pretend to be totally inanimate so hopefully the aggressor won’t notice you, will see someone else more interesting or will get bored and leave.
How many times have you felt this?
To ensure optimum efficiency, a lack of appetite and clear thinking are included as well as other ‘non-survival’ essential bodily conditions and personal effects.
If you just stare at the bear and think about things too long, it will already have taken you down.
After danger has passed the adrenaline pumped into your system to spur you into action starts to wear off leaving you nauseous and upset, maybe even regretful as a side effect of the ‘come down’.
So how does this help you make better choices today and prepare for tomorrow?
It’s actually a very simple answer.
Train your brain to make better choices AS A DEFAULT SETTING.
Add a few more ‘behavioural buttons’ to your subconscious mind.
This is easier than you think.
You just need to choose them, action them when the time comes and your system will categorise them for future dangers and difficult situations.
Your subconscious mind is a super computer with endless algorithms and possibilities. You can program it or leave it for everyone else to do so (religious beliefs, parents, culture, society, friends, the news, music, your employer etc). When you let others dictate your thought patterns, you will lose your feeling of self-confidence, empowerment and control.
Some people like that.
Most in fact.
I hate it, I will win in my life because I personally design my reactions and take full responsibility for all my choices.
Here are a few of my personal empowerment tips:
I have used NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) to embed them for faster recall.
- Say ‘Next’ — as soon as I lose something important or don’t get something I really need (client, project, friendship etc) this word pops up, I clear my mind and move on leaving myself fully open to new and better opportunities.
- Say ‘So What?’ — this is a harsh but effective version of training my brain to ask myself better questions. The full version is ‘So what do I have to do next?’. It’s a faster way to brainstorm on your own because you get some incredible first option decisions. When you reject those and dig deeper for better ones, the real magic starts to happen.
- Laugh at yourself (and others) in your current situation. This diffuses the below the surface tension and allows you to clear the stress away and think more clearly in very difficult situations.
- Take a timeout. Make a few seconds or a minute maximum to calm down, shut out the noise and pull focus on your situation.
- Tell yourself ‘I am enough’ to program your subconscious mind into grouping your mental, emotional and physical resources into a fighting unit which can overcome any situation or crisis.
- Limit all negative outside influences. Choose only positive thinking friends, don’t watch the news and sack bad customers. I am sure you can think of some other cool ones too…
- Forgive EVERYONE involved. They are just doing what they think is right. Even if it’s wrong for you.
- Know that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Learn from this.
- Only engage in the battles where you know you will win. Don’t set up a losing situation, just walk away instead.
- Change the game. What if you didn’t fight back, or you waited, or got reinforcements to help or just walked away?
- Access your purple patch.
Here’s how you do that…
- Think of a time in the past when you did something amazing. You scored a last minute goal to win the match, you passed an examination or job interview to guarantee the future of your dreams, you won something so special that others (and yourself) had to admit that your possibilities and limits were endless.
- Associate it with a sound, a song or a trigger of some kind.
- Immerse yourself in the wonderful positive thoughts and feelings which it gives to you.
- Rub your thumb and forefinger together to ‘anchor’ that feeling and intensify it by breathing slowly and deeply until it’s like a warm blanket around you.
- Spend some time with that success feeling constantly rubbing your thumb and forefinger together.
- Recall that winners mindset and emotional protection any time you want in the future by taking a deep breath and rubbing your thumb and forefingers together.
This is what I call my ‘purple patch’.
Today and tomorrow are going to throw ‘curve balls’ and tough times at you.
BUT NOW you have 11 completely new options in your personal defense arsenal.
Empowering isn’t it?
Use all the above to drive your natural reactions and suddenly you are like a Jedi with your first access to controlling the force.
Life only throws at you as much as you can handle.
It may be tough but you can handle it when you step up and ask better questions.
Remember, if all else fails put on your training shoes.
You don’t have to outrun the bear, just everybody else in the cave.
Go out today and hunt your dreams, they will be a little slower, smaller and easier to catch now that you have no fear of what else the day could bring.