Hollow Souls | Moonlight Memories

“The greatest and only threat to ourselves is the loss of Self. The death of our divinity. As we barrel through history with oceans of information yet barely a drop of wisdom, we have to understand how we lost our Self.” -Kymatica
It takes great courage to face your demons.
To this day, despite my renewed love and vitality for life, I will never be rid of the darkness within me. It may feel like I have conquered that shadow of an Ego, but really all I have done is learn to acknowledge my Dark and balance it with my Light.
This was a tough lesson to learn; a hard pill to swallow. And it should be for most. We are objectively tied with Time in this reality we craft for ourselves. The real challenge is knowing how to ‘make’ time for ourselves. To understand our strengths and weaknesses as our collective experiences weave our path, our timeline, our representation of the Self.
What most will fail to see is that we make these decisions based upon what others see of us and what we ‘want’ them to see. Our Ego begins to take over and we are instinctual to answer. We show the ‘Self’ that others like in the effort to connect and be accepted, when the opposite is actually running the show. Our Ego.
With the Ego comes many unwanted and sometimes unavoidable consequences.

What may be true and what may work for one Soul may not be the case for another. As we all know; our experiences are subjective when expressed to another. In this case, I took my newfound knowledge and experience to a friend who was reaching out for help.
She was dealing with a heroin withdrawal by the time I’d come to her aid. A few days since; she was shivering, barely conscious, and on top of it all, suffering from a light case of psychosis. It was excruciating to see her that way… More so knowing she subjected herself to the addiction for a fourth time…
My big heart was quick to answer, but my downfall was not giving myself enough time to let the experience I had settle in. I went in to the situation hoping it would be enough to show her the path I took to heal myself.
Alas, it was too late.
It’s hard to be aware of every notion that happens; the neural connections we are not consciously aware of — they gift the feeling of intuition and some are very lucky to pick up on the frequencies ahead of time, but learning to see that takes practice. Lots of practice. Lots of understanding. And lots of awareness.
I wish I had more practice going into the situation. As I am coming to understand myself too; this situation extended itself beyond any reasonable level with the out-pour of distasteful language from her addiction. She caved in and would not let anyone in but herself. Yet she did not realize she was not helping herself, only trying to numb the pain and fall into a daze away from what her reality was. And I saw a demon within her that taunted me and pulled at my skeletons. A familiar demon that seems to be plaguing the hopeless in Cheyenne.
So, I spend my times alone.
