Quarter Life Crisis: Avoid or accept?

One day I woke up and I finally accepted everything.

It started when I turned 20, just after college. Since then — year after year — whenever my birthday is just around the corner, I started feeling blue; self pitying; comparing myself to others’ achievements; intoxicating myself. Those days were dark, lonely and scary. I was drowning in ego, doubt and depression. It even crossed my mind to seek psychiatric help. But then one day, everything faded away; I found my way back to the light.

Alcohol Attention

Honestly I had several “nervous breakdowns” I wished I never had. With my solitary environment and pressure from work — who wouldn't go nuts? I woke up everyday doing the same routine over and over again. And if it’s a new thing it would be as challenging as hell.

I turned to alcohol, expecting that it could help and be there for me during these dark days. I thought that if I drown myself to it I could sleep better and woke up the next day worry free. But mornings turned into nightmares and hangovers became a regular thing.

If it so happens that there’s free alcohol, I would go there — anywhere!

Everything would go away after I take a bath, eat past noon and crave for another bottle in the evening. It was a never ending cycle and an unhealthy lifestyle choice. There were times that I would quit drinking, scared to die young. After a few weeks I would go back and indulge myself with vodka or beer or anything alcoholic. I was a mess with no plans of fixing myself.

Surely Single

I spend my entire existence single and like every young adult Filipino, everybody will question your marital status or not even being in a relationship in this age.

People around me already know how should I live my life and I should be taking notes from them by now, just to keep up with their expectations.

I should already have a partner, unprepared for life and just get married in years’ time. That’s how they see my future, so we can both have the same miserable life. Kids not having enough education; no life plans or even money in the bank.

I thought I was ugly as shit. I hated how I look. I was skinny. I was oily. But then I see this people who looks way awful than me but manages to find love. I gave up.

Money Matters

Money should never be the center of your life, but rather — it should be your guiding principle.

Let’s be real! You don’t work for love; you work for money. My mom told me that people work so they can buy what they want. And if I can’t buy what I want, I work more — so I can have enough and get what I want.

There were times that I spend too much that I would endanger my minuscule savings. I'm already broke and already waiting for the next payday to arrive, although it’s been only few days since the last one.

I had frequent trips to the mall and out of town, thinking I have an unlimited money — skipping reality. It took me two years before I decided to open a bank account, but it never stopped me from spending anyway.

Work Wishes

Everybody would be asking me why I'm still working for the same company for years. They would be telling me to seek opportunities in the metro or might as well go abroad. I would be smiling back at them just say — “I love my work”.

Life could have been less demanding if we can seat all day and shit coins. Everyday I would wish I had diarrhea.

I wish I was less smart, less analytical, less creative and less ambitious, so I can enjoy life much easier. I can have less worries and more sleep. I can work eight hours a day, five days a week and enjoy weekends often.

When I was still studying I envied my elder cousin because she works and the best part she have her own money, but she told me this:

Being in school is way better, because when you work — it’s forever.

Now I can finally relate to her.

Accepting Adulthood

I learned a lot from my experiences and I leaned it hard. Looking back I'm proud I made it. I'm not surprised some of my friends same age as mine had these same episodes of doubt.

Life in general is full of surprises, challenges and choices. Transitioning from one phase to another has never been easy. Can you still recall when you're entering puberty? Everything’s changing, to the point you doubt if you still know yourself. Quarter life crisis is the same, more or less.

There are bills to pay, future to save, love to find and relatives to impress.

There are a lot of things to deal with as a young adult. All we have to do is accept everything and do our best to survive the everyday struggles. It might take time to get comfortable but sooner you'll be thankful for this quarter of a life.