How Passion Helps you Become the Best Version of You — Chapter 3
Learn to enjoy the process.
Even though I was garnering amazing success due to understanding the value of patience, I needed to learn how to enjoy the process to my success. I was no longer rushing as often as I did in the past, however, there were moments when I still had the urge to rush. I was rushing as I wanted success to be instant, and I was not looking forward to the process to my recovery.
I spent most of my days dreading the remaining pieces with this process. I started to believe the journey was no longer worth it. Due to the amount of dislike I had with the process, I was entering the mindset that I wanted to quit, and I wanted to accept this was where I was meant to stay. I had mixed feelings and I was confused again on what I wanted, and the sad part is deep down I knew what I wanted, I wanted the pain to stop, and I wanted to be “normal” again.
I failed to realize how important it was to enjoy the process. What exactly was the process I was dreading? Even though I made some progress with the weights, I was still having issues with balance, and I was not anywhere near where I wanted to be with weightlifting. I was not certain I would overcome all that was requested of me to recover, there was so much wrong with my health, and I had no idea how I was going to be able to rectify it all.
I was having consistent meetings with my psychologist in regards to this, and she offered me some amazing insight. She helped me understand that the journey even though it WILL be hard, it is one I need to take, as it is more promising than where I am now. She made me realize that the journey was going to be hard, however, not as hard as making the choice to quit.
She could understand my personality, she knew I would overcome this, and she was not about to let me quit. I will always remember this conversation as I was honest with her about everything, and she never once made me feel weak or judged. To be very honest with you, the only person who was judging and doubting my ability and strength was me. I was the one who was convincing myself to quit this process, and I needed that conversation to help remind me that I am the ONLY one who can overcome this struggle.
I needed to learn that to see myself overcoming these struggles I needed to believe in myself, and I needed to fall in love with the process. As let’s be honest, this process was about personal growth, and it was all about my recovery. I had all the right reasons to love this process. That is just it, I knew I had all the reasons to WANT to pursue this process, however, I was still hesitant, why? Simple, I was being a coward. That is the truth, I was being a damn coward.
Here I was given this opportunity for support by professional, compassionate, and focused therapists to overcome my struggles, and they vowed to be there for me the whole way, and I choose to be a coward? Trust me, looking back on it now I am embarrassed with how I was acting. I have no excuse for how I was acting, only that I was being cowardice.
Do you think I was going to admit this to anyone? Of course, not. When has a coward ever admitted to being a coward, that would be a contradiction to being a coward, and I needed to continue allowing myself remain a coward, why? It was easy. It was easy being a coward. Being a coward made it that I could just make excuses for why I could not do something, and I felt that would somehow benefit my recovery, stupid, just so stupid.
I could not look forward to the process due to being SCARED of the process, but why was I scared? I was scared I would fail, and that I would be judged for it. What? Do you not see how foolish this was? I was scared to fail so I decided to quit, which in all honesty and practicality IS failing by choice.
The amount of nonsense I was speaking is embarrassing, and this is all true folks. Thankfully my psychologist was always aware of my actions and statements as the therapists would share them with her. Being she was aware of how I was acting she was able to speak to me about it in our next session.
She made the best approach on me about this topic, she knew if she approached me in a sense where she told me what to do I would tune out. Thus, she knew exactly how to get to me, and this was my pride. She knew due to my insecurities and my low self-esteem I had lots of pride issues. Therefore, what better way to get me to change my attitude than to make me aware of it and call me a hypocrite?
There was no other way, and she knew it. She proceeded to tell me my actions lacked honor, and if my son were to act this way I would spend time to help him correct it, and she made me aware that it is easy to preach to others, however, difficult to practice what you preach at times. She informed me that I needed to stop this “feel sorry for me” attitude.
Again, I was sabotaging my recovery, and this time the only reason I had was me being a coward. Once she took the risk is when this all paid off. She took a major risk and it worked out tremendously, she brought up all my actions and called me out in the most effective way, she called me a coward. When those words exited her mouth it hit hard.
That is exactly what I needed to hear from her, the truth, and the truth I find is always understood when it is served in a real way, no filter. I needed that good kick in the rear. In my mind, I knew what I was doing was being cowardice, however, when someone else calls you on it, it tends to become real, as it is not only you who notices it.
Some feel she should not have said this to me, however, here is why I defend and applaud her honesty, we need more of it. I would not have overcome this fear if she had not been brutally honest with me. Who knows where I would have ended up had she not spoken the truth to me. When we finished this conversation, I was driven towards choosing to enjoy the process, I now respected the value of enjoying the pursuit to success. It was a decision I made within myself, and I was going to overcome this. When you learn to love the process, you learn an important key to success. If you cannot enjoy the process it is then apparent that you do not have genuine intent to succeed. The journey is the most crucial part of success, the journey is where you determine how bad you want something.
The process is the journey, and the journey leads to the success you want. To ignore the process is to ignore the journey, and to ignore the journey means to ignore your passion and success. You need to learn to love the process, and you need to love the journey.