Ignoring The Signs

The signs are everywhere, in all sizes and colors, some even with pictures of these knotheads and their freaking families. It’s that time again, that wonderful time when professional turd merchants get to shit on every street corner of our fair city and call it political free speech.

That’s right, sports fans, it’s election time, and we are once again confronted with the usual cast of characters trying to get elected or re-elected, as if any of their hollow machinations still mattered, or are worth taking seriously or wasting precious oxygen debating.

Despite any assertions to the contrary, they are all playing a game that has, like most other human endeavors, been rendered obsolete by the speed and scale of abrupt global climate change.

But for the sake of argument and the proverbial shits and giggles, how about a bit of rhetorical fun and frolic, just to pass the time?

So, who’s the better candidate? Let’s take a look, shall we? The hawkish Martha McSally is backed by every climate denying bovine scatologist from the Koch Brothers to the Family Research Council, but local Lefty favorite Ron Barber doesn’t even consider the Environment as an issue worth listing on his official campaign web site.

This even though we live in a goddamned desert that’s only projected to get hotter and drier for pretty much fucking ever.

Both McSally and Barber are offering competing visions of how to stimulate economic growth and bring back the good times that we all so richly deserve, because we’re Americans, after all, and it says so in the Constitution, or one of those other old pieces of paper we hold in such high regard.

More growth? Really? You mean more of the same shit we’ve always done? The planet is choking on the toxic garbage we’ve generated thus far in our omnicidal love affair with growth, we’re collectively more exhausted, distracted and medicated than ever before, and the best you contemptuous clowns can offer is more of the same?

While we amuse ourselves with the endless Punch and Judy antics of McSally, Barber and everyone else asking us to buy into their stupid shell game, a dragon is awakening in the Arctic, and will soon wrap its leathery wings around the world in a final, fiery embrace.

While we waste precious brain power pondering which candidate is more believable, more honorable, less odious, and continuing with Business as Usual, the planet is warming.

Regardless of whether you believe in human-forced warming — the planet IS definitely warming, and the Arctic is warming twice as fast as the rest of the planet.

This rapid warming is destabilizing subsea and sub-permafrost methane deposits and sending massive amounts of this heat-trapping gas into an atmosphere already overburdened with carbon.

If just a fraction of these deposits make their way into the atmosphere, we will very likely be facing a catastrophically rapid rise in temperatures that we will not be able to adapt to.

And in case you missed what I just said, this process has already started, and cannot be reversed unless we figure out how to artificially refreeze the Arctic and suck all the heat-trapping crap out of the skies.

Alarmist you say? Take the time to do the research and read the science for yourself, then get back to me on that one. Call me crazy, but when the people who get paid to study this stuff are saying they are scared shitless and losing sleep over the unfolding Arctic methane catastrophe, I think it’s time to wake the fuck up.

I never asked for, or wanted this dark vision. Never wanted to alienate so many friends and family by generating an endless torrent of grim news, but once you start seeing this and connecting the dots, you simply cannot un-see or ignore it.

I’m often told that happiness is a choice, and encouraged to focus on good news and avoid the bad, but even if I manage to stop reading the stories and analyses, the instant I leave my house and go out into the world I am reminded how everything we automatically do every second of every day — the “water” we all swim in and fail to see because it’s all around us — is spraying napalm on a world that’s already ablaze, making things worse while we’re all frogmarching ourselves into oblivion, too transfixed by the comforting glow of our handheld devices to notice.

What I’m trying to say, other than political signs are a fucking eyesore, and an absurd one at that, is that we all have better things to do than voting for Barber, McSally, Clinton, Warren, or anyone else at this point, because political reality continues to ignore planetary reality, and shows no signs of changing anytime soon, so hug your partners, pet your pets, grab a cold one, and enjoy every sandwich, my friends, the Big Show is about to begin, and all the votes in the Universe won’t change a damn thing.