I thought for sure this kid would get hit by that bat.

2016 Predictions I Wish I Hadn't Made

  1. Media consumers will retrench and seek news that they know they can trust: The stories shared by their friends on Facebook.
  2. The Trump campaign is bombastic, interesting, and at times funny. But he’s got about as much chance of get through the primaries as Ben Carson has of being named Secretary of HUD.
  3. All the preseason hype about the Cubs is a joke. I don’t even see them winning their division. So which long-losing team will surprise us all and win big? The Browns.
  4. Apple’s iPhone will finally cede its spot as the top smart phone. The crown will be passed to the Samsung Galaxy s7.
  5. The IPO market will finally loosen up. I’d guess that Theranos will be the first to go public. (Though, I see the Dow crashing by December.)
  6. Drug companies will finally prove that, even without strict government oversight, they’ll price their goods fairly.
  7. Corporate Responsibility Company of the Year: Volkswagen.
  8. There will be a lot of hype about Pokémon’s new mobile game. Don’t buy it. We’re too mature for stuff like that.
  9. Roger Ailes will solidify his position at the top of Fox News, in part because of his close relationship with President-elect Cruz.
  10. After a very public shake-up at the Today Show, a new host will be introduced: Billy Bush.
  11. This one is probably too easy, but I don’t expect any new bathroom laws of note in 2016.
  12. Despite some signs of opposition, I fully expect the Dakota Access oil pipeline to be completed on schedule.
  13. By mid-year, everyone in South America will be talking about the Venezuela rebound.
  14. As business and governments get serious ab0ut security, we’ll see an end to the stream of stories about hacking. (Many of the former hackers will ultimately get hired to work on the Pebble watch.)
  15. No one of note will die in 2016.
  16. Political comeback of the year: Anthony Weiner.
  17. Hamilton gets shut out at the Tony Awards.
  18. Easing the concerns of scientists around the world, the Arctic stops melting.
  19. Following the disastrous and humiliating conclusion of Donald Trump’s campaign, The New Yorker’s David Remnick will write an impassioned defense of his efforts and character. A grateful Trump agrees to write an occasional Shouts and Murmurs piece.
  20. The ridiculous Hillary email scandal coverage should die down by February. March at the latest.
  21. After ISIS breaks up, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi will join Twitter and sends his first message: “My bad.”
  22. White males will be less angry than ever.
  23. The Nobel Prize Committee will surprise many by giving the literature prize to a musician. (Drake)
  24. Tech stock of the year: Twitter.
  25. Kanye West moves to the suburbs.

Dave Pell writes NextDraft: Read. Real. News.