Fuck

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I don’t mean Fuck as in the noun, adjective, interjection or general name-calling expletive. I mean Fuck the verb.

As in, start fucking. Right now.

This election was a big disappointment to many (a big disappointment in the sense that the earth bursting in flames would be a big disappointment). It was, without a doubt, partly about anger from those who feel like they’ve been ignored, shunned by the system, and belittled by the elite. And we better start listening to their messages.

But it’s also about plain old prejudice. It’s a reaction to the incredible pace of progressive change that America has witnessed in the last decade — from gay marriage, to open conversations about race, to a black president, to a woman candidate, to more acceptance of different gender preferences. And, this time around, the backlash won. Bigly.

But the progressive movement is on the right side of history, and American progressives should soon have a significant demographic advantage.

Time is of the essence. For millions of progressives, politics just turned from a thought exercise into a real fight. And that fight starts with fucking.

If you are black, brown, or a liberal white, stop reading this right now and fuck someone. Make more black, brown and liberal whites as fast as you can. Fuck so much that bunnies look up with an expression that says, “Whoa, what’s up with all that fucking?”

Imagining Sarah Palin in the cabinet? Stop. Fuck someone. Thinking of the Supreme Court we could have in a few years? Stop worrying and start boning. Can’t get the images of Newt and Rudy out of your mind? Well, I know those images are not exactly an aphrodisiac, but you must fuck through it.

If you’re single or in a relationship in which fucking won’t necessarily reproduce more liberals, then start fucking adopting. And I don’t mean one or two. We need you to pull Jolie/Pitt like numbers.

This election was the most depressing of my life, and I imagine many of you feel the same way. We can sit around and say “fuck this” or “fuck that”. Or we can do something constructive and start fucking.

Dave-Fucking-Pell Writes a Fucking Newsletter. It’s fucking here.