Actually, this is a pipe…

Lie Gate

There was no issue with the birth certificate.

He didn’t inherit a mess.

He lied about the weather conditions during his inaugural speech.

There weren’t 3–5 million illegal votes.

The inauguration was poorly attended.

Russia interfered with the election on his behalf.

He’s not good at making deals.

He won’t be releasing his tax returns as soon as the audit is done.

He touted business investments and job announcements that had been previously announced and could easily be found with a Google search. He did this 61 times.

When he says, “People are saying…” No one actually said anything.

There was no incident involving illegal immigrants in Sweden.

The murder rate is not higher than ever in our country.

Obama never tapped Trump Tower.

Lordy, there are not tapes.

He fired Comey because of the Russia investigation.

He lied about Flynn, he lied about Manafort, he lied about Cohen, he lied about McCabe, he lied about Clapper, he lied about the FBI, he lied about the deep state.

He hasn’t signed more bills than any other president.

There were not very fine people on both sides.

The Mueller investigation is not a witch hunt.

America doesn’t pay the highest taxes or have the worst borders.

The US didn’t have the highest corporate tax rate (even though he said we did more than 50 times).

Tax reform didn’t cost him a fortune.

No one was shot and killed in Chicago while Obama gave his farewell speech (yup, he said that too…).

Immigrants are not more likely to commit crimes than those born in the US.

Mexico is never going to pay for the wall.

He didn’t come up with the term fake.

Collusion happened (at least among his underlings, maybe more).

Obstruction is happening.

Meryl Streep is not overrated.

When he says “believe me,” don’t.

He lies more than a six times … a day.

Are you sensing a pattern?

Every press conference is filled with lies. Every interview includes lies. Just about every tweet is a lie.

He is the first person to ever use all caps and exclamation points to emphasize lies.

He makes shit up. It’s what he does. It’s who he is. We don’t need cable news panelists to debate whether or not his latest lie is actually the truth. It’s not. It’s always a lie.

And, my fellow Americans, there were no deep state Democratic spies infiltrating his campaign. That is a lie too. It’s more far-fetched and ridiculous than most of his other lies. But it’s still a lie.

There is no Spygate. There is only Lie Gate.

And what lies ahead?

More lies.

Dave Pell writes NextDraft and is the Internet’s Managing Editor.