The Meaning and End of The Donald
The Definitive Guide to the Meaning of the Rise of Donald Trump and a Look at the Exact Place Where it Will End.
I’m going to give you the good news about Donald Trump. And it turns out that news related to The Donald is all pretty much good. Ok, terrific. Even the bad news. Let’s start there.
Yes, Donald Trump’s Trutherism and anti-immigrant rhetoric and Birther hogwash is all troubling, especially from the standpoint that it has unearthed a thick layer of the American electorate that shares those views; if not with Trump (who is just grandstanding and probably has no serious opinion on anything beyond the five gold-plated letters that make up his surname), at least with each other. And that’s a drag. But while the periodic uncovering of the massive bucket that contains this breed of American voter is enough to turn your stomach, it’s also — more importantly — enough to turn your head. These voters shouldn’t be ignored. Indeed, the feeding of their ravenous appetite for stupid rhetoric drives much of the political discourse and marketing in this country. Trump targets them overtly, with no pretense of serving up anything other than xenophobic hate speech. That openness will actually make it harder for other candidates to target them in more coded language. Knowing that these idiots exist is depressing. But being ignorant of their foolishness and the way it’s manipulated to win elections is even worse.
But let’s move to the core of the Trump movement: The entertainment factor. Here’s a tip: The 22 million people who tuned in to CNN to watch the recent GOP debate were not doing it because they supported Trump. They were doing it because it was certain to be great television; and it was.
Even if you find him contemptible, Trump is doing what no presidential candidate has ever dared to do. He’s being himself. While it’s undeniable that Himself is total dick, at least he’s presenting the same himself in presidential debates as he does in business and entertainment.
I hate Trump’s politics. And I hate most things he says. But I love that he’s saying it, and even how he’s saying it. He is doing to our absurd political races and the equally absurd way we cover them exactly what needs to be done.
He is making a complete mockery of the complete mockery.
If we had a real candidate who actually acted like a somewhat normal person during the campaign, we’d have a serious threat to either ticket.
But we don’t have that. So let’s skip to the end of this story. And relax, there will be an end. We have reached peak Trump.
As anticipation for our story’s conclusion builds, let me admit that I never thought the inevitable Trump campaign would get this big (OK, huge), in part because I underestimated how desperate members of the political media were for something to cover and discuss other than the same, old debilitatingly boring, slow motion, horse race. If you think you were desperate for something different in American campaigns, think about how they felt.
While I misjudged the beginning, I’ve never had any doubt about the location of the scene where this campaign will end. I can even give you the exact address.
1100 Pennsylvania Ave NW, Washington, DC 20004
That’s the address of Donald Trump’s newest hotel. It’s within bullhorn distance of the White House and, get this, it just happens to be opening in 2016.
Sometime in the coming weeks, Donald Trump will stand in front of his new hotel, surrounded by a journalist-filled moshpit the size of which most candidates can only dream of, and announce that while he won’t be living in the White House in 2016, he will be able to stay in someplace in DC that’s even nicer. In fact it’s terrific and he did a super, super, terrific job because he’s a great businessman and wrote the world’s greatest book. And he’s worth billions of dollars. And by the way, rooms are now available for booking.
And then it will be over. And we’ll go back to politics as usual. And you’ll miss The Donald.