A Letter to My Mum— Parent to Parent
I’m writing this to you now, because there are things that I wanted to just get out there.
First, I’m gutted that we didn’t have more time together and even more gutted that you never got to meet your two incredible granddaughters. They are incredible, bright, beautiful and amazing in just about every way — but I would say that! We had discussed what they would have called you. Dad suggested Granny Franny…. Grandma was the more settled upon concept though.
I wanted to let you know that I’m OK. I know you worried about me and that I could be a difficult sod to raise, but I like to think I turned out alright. You were right about Laura as well, by the way, she really has been the making of me.
Dad is doing well, we are just in the process of getting him moved in to an extension on our house. He is amazing for his age, just like Babcia was! He did eventually retire as well, at 75! We will look after him for you though, promise.
Quick one before I get to the meat of the letter, CSI was canceled! Grissam left, but it was still really good with Ted Danson (yep, him out of Cheers). That said, NCIS is still going. You would love NCIS New Orleans. Not only is it set in New Orleans, its got the guy from Quantum Leap in it.
Now, importantly I wanted to say sorry.
What am I sorry for? Well, being a little shit as I grew up! Now that I have kids, I find myself saying things you said to me constantly — and I berate and congratulate myself in equal measure. I have some understanding now of what it was like to raise me. The fights over my bedroom, homework, behavior, manners, eating, sleeping, being ill, being well and just grumpy. Christ, I have no idea how I am going to handle the teenage years — you deserve a medal for not just smothering me in my sleep!
I know that you understood that not everything was my fault. The dyslexia, the M.E., the bullying, but still — I really was a whiny little shit bag at times.
Which brings me to the other thing I wanted to say. Thank you.
You and Dad believed in me when everyone else gave up. Even when I wanted to do medicine, you gave me every opportunity. Good God I’m glad that never happened. I would have been a terrible doctor! Actually, I have to laugh, you would never guess what I have been doing recently. Somehow I have managed to combine my love of games with real work and get paid for it! I even wrote a book and won an award. I know! But, I could not have done it without you fighting tooth and nail to make me feel I was worth something. So thank you with all my heart.
I’m not going to lie, I miss you like crazy still. Even writing this, as cathartic as it is, has brought a tear or two to my eyes. Not many weeks go by without something making me think “Oh, Mum would love that”. Actually, recently it is friends who have discovered the joys of Bob Ross! I take great joy in explaining that you were one of the first qualified Bob Ross instructors in the UK. You will always be in my heart and your stubbornness will always be in your grand children!
See you in a few decades (I hope!!)
All my love