My Break-up with Social Media
…and how it led me to ‘KonMari’ my iPhone
In mid-March of this year, around about the time the UK went into lockdown, I decided to break up with Social Media.
I wasn’t sure whether we’d stay apart for good, or if the urge would be too strong and I’d go crawling back once loneliness crept in, but I made my decision and cut all ties.
I removed every trace of her from my phone, and other than a couple of texts trying to win me back in the early days, it wasn’t long before she got the idea. I was serious this time.
Social Lockdown
Listening to the latest episode of The Tim Ferris Show, The Random Show with Kevin Rose, it seems that both Tim and Kevin had the same idea. I found it interesting, not only because they’d also stepped away from using Social Media on their phones, but because of the timing.
Within the space of a couple of months, I’d removed myself from Social Media, with Tim Ferriss and Kevin Rose, choosing to do the same shortly after. I’m not suggesting in any way they’d followed my lead, (I’m pretty confident they have no idea who I am) but I am suggesting it has something to do with the lockdown.
Bandwidth
We all have a bandwidth of attention. Each time we become distracted by something, whether it be the ping of a new message or the e-mail pop-up at the bottom right-hand corner of your screen, our focus is becoming divided.
When we add to this, the distractions from social media, the TV, bills, debt, screaming kids, it’s easy to understand how we become overwhelmed. Our attention is fragmented, and we haven’t got the capacity.
I wonder if COVID-19 and then the subsequent lockdown, was like the final dagger that made the Pirate spring up from his barrel — It was the ‘something’ that finally triggered an action.
Break-up Post
Kevin mentions in the show that he left a final post on Instagram. I did something similar.
I remember drafting it on Word first. I felt nervous. I wanted it to be just right. I mentioned how the social presence wasn’t working for me, and I probably wouldn’t be returning to the platform, and so far, I haven’t.
I haven’t missed out on anything important, and by the sounds of it, that’s the same experience for both Tim and Kevin.
A Weight Lifted
There’s a feeling of emptiness when you first delete the apps. It makes sense, though.
Social media eats up so much of our attention. It’s mentally draining, even when we’re not using it. What the emptiness represents is you taking back control.
Think of it this way. Has your phone ever run out of storage?
You know when you have because your iPhone is continually reminding you. You can’t take any more pictures, and not even WhatsApp will let you through before clearing some MB’s first.
If you haven’t had this before, you don’t want to. It’s far too stressful, but this is what it’s like when we’re always getting pulled in every conceivable direction. Eventually, we start to run on fumes, before grinding to a halt. We’ve got no more left to give.
When we finally free up some space, we win our edge back. The emptiness gives us a void to fill with something more nourishing for the mind and body.
It helps us come alive again.
How to ‘KonMari’ your iPhone
Clearing your phone of Facebook and Instagram is one thing, how about having a Marie Kondo style tidy up of your home screen?
We’d be de-cluttering our phone, which let’s face, tends to be such a massive part of everything we do these days, to increase our bandwidth for other, more exciting things.
Kevin Rose mentions this in the podcast.
Every couple of months I’ll have a cull on some of the apps I haven’t been using, but I love this idea even more.
He suggests setting a rule where all apps have to fit on one page of the home screen. In other words, no swiping.
Folders are fine, but again, they must fit onto one page.
I have heard, some people take a minimalist approach and will leave only the phone, messages and those apps that you can’t get rid of, but never use.
This isn’t for me.
I love online banking and apps like Duolingo and Medium. For me, it’s closer to the KonMari Method than Minimalist. If an app ‘sparks joy’, makes you feel good, or is regularly useful, keep it. If it doesn’t or isn’t, get rid.
Below is how my screen looks these days.
Final thoughts
In my experience, when faced with a crisis, there are two kinds of reactions from people. The first is of helplessness. “It’s happened, there’s nothing I can do about it”, they’re a victim.
The second is to look at adversity as an opportunity for a re-boot. Take stock of what’s working, what’s not. What’s giving you personal energy and what is a drain on your reserves.
The two ideas above (the social media detox) and KonMari home screen are both examples of the second person. That’s who we should want to be.
It’s a unique situation we find ourselves in, but that makes it a unique opportunity.
Let’s not waste it.
Before You Leave
Thanks for being here. I’d love to keep in touch so join my mailing list now for semi-regular e-mails about what’s been occupying my mind over recent weeks.
