101 Tips from a Fat Guy who Hates Running on How to Finish the Spartan Ultra Beast

When I was researching prior to the race, I had a fair amount of trouble. There were plenty of articles about Spartan Races in general including a few helpful ones on the Beast. There were also a couple race reports from prior Ultra Beasts, but I didn’t think a lot of the information was laid out in a digestible format. Another problem I ran into was the fact that I am neither a marathoner nor triathlete. I didn’t run cross country in high school; in fact I f#cking hate running (at least in a straight line and on pavement). This was coupled with the fact that; at the time, I was also a relatively fat guy. I’m also not a personal trainer or even active at my job. I work in a cubicle farm as an insurance broker for certified public accountants, which may in fact sound like the least active job in the world. So for those reasons I decided to write: 101 Tips from a Fat Guy who Hates Running on How to Finish the Spartan Ultra Beast. I hope it is useful for you on your journey to doing the dumbest, most physically and mentally challenging and rewarding things of your life. Bare with me the post is long (approximately 5,000 words).

1.Sign Up. This is kind of a no-brainer, but it can be scary. Signing up makes it real. Alcohol helps. If you don’t sign up, you will never finish.