Filthy habit! Absolutely Filthy!

Moan, Moan, Moan, Moan, Moan,

OK, now I’ve got your attention, let me moan some more.

I know I’ve done so in the past — on here, on Medium — and I’m going to do some more.

It’s the Brit in me, you understand. We are good at whinging here in the UK (ask an Australian about cricket and us Poms) and we will moan and groan about almost anything at the drop of a hat.

It’s usually about something we can’t do anything about — the weather is most favourite — but the list is almost endless. So I won’t start.

Here’s one of my current favourite subjects to whine about.

Choggy — Spoggy — Chagues — Spedge — Gowie — Stapes — Chewdy — Wurzel

CHUDDY!

All slang terms in one part of Britain or another for;

CHEWING GUM…..

…..And I detest the stuff.

Chuddy Here…..

Not so much for the minty, fruity or mentholy flavour and smell (all acceptable to me) as for the way it is so often chewed — almost always with mouth open, offering the most appalling squelching and slurping noise to anyone within a few yards (metres, if you prefer) and the visually sickening view of the inside of the chewer’s mouth.

Worse still is to come.

Chuddy There…..

Invariably gum is chewed out in public, walking through public places, with the poor, unsuspecting public all around.

What happens when gum has lost its flavour, its appeal, its enjoyment?

No matter where the chewer is, beyond the confines of ‘indoors’, the gum gets spat out!

Saliva, spittle, sputum covered, it gets squashed beneath foot and is given no further thought.

Until, that is wherever it lands, it gets continually crushed, pounded and mashed to the point where a local council has to spend huge sums of money just to pressure wash it — and hundreds of thousands of similar chuddy discs — away…..ready for hundreds of thousands more to accumulate again.

What could we — perhaps, should we — do about it?

Chuddy every Chuddywhere!

in 1992 Singapore banned chewing gum and it is now illegal to sell gum unless it’s for medical reasons and, even then, a permit is required and the gum is only available from pharmacies.

The law was brought in to keep the country clean and to avoid exactly what I am moaning about here.

Has it worked in Singapore? I haven’t been there, so I can’t really comment. However, if the public open spaces in the UK are anything to go by, I’d like to see gum banned here, too.

What are the chances?

Zero — Zilch — Zip — Zippo — Nil — Nada — Nix — Nought

NONE!

Chuddy here, chuddy there, chuddy every chuddywhere…..

…….and it’s probably going to chuddywell stay.