Oct 31, 2017Member-onlyTrolled into ClarityOur rancid internet, illustrated by a Trump-worshipping cartoonist — In 2008, a Florida teenager named Joshua Goldberg started messing with the online political cartoons drawn by a Montana-based libertarian artist named Ben Garrison. Goldberg did this a lot, as it turned out, and to many people other than Garrison. When Goldberg was found out, in 2015, it was revealed…Politics8 min readPolitics8 min read
Published inTHE SHOCKER·Oct 12, 2017TEAM DREAMS: The Pacers are 12 Words About Lance Stephenson, Six TimesLance vibrates at a competitive frequency that conventional instruments cannot pick up. The way in which he’s been good, when he’s been good, baffles. When he disappears into glazed inner distance, he does so for seasons.NBA2 min readNBA2 min read
Oct 5, 2017Member-onlyFloating on the OverageHow it feels to be untethered on today’s sprawling internet — Here is how it feels for me, now: I am floating in the ocean on my back with my eyes closed. The swells under and around me are as warm as bathwater, and the day is hazy and hot; the sun is not exactly bright on my face, but the…Internet7 min readInternet7 min read
Sep 11, 2017The 9/12 Project9/11/17: This is something I wrote back in 2011, on and around the anniversary of both September 11 and the genesis of Glenn Beck’s briefly prominent, semi-secretly enduring 9/12 movement. I’m putting it here because it’s otherwise really difficult to find, and because I would like to have it someplace…New York10 min readNew York10 min read
Published inMEL Magazine·Feb 9, 2017Batting Practice For Your HeartHow sports teach us the highs and lows of adulthood — When the one true buzzer-beating, game-winning shot of my life nestled through, I had no idea what to do. I let it go like any other and the crappy horn honked and the arms of the referee — a mustachioed math teacher we all called Mr. Mosk, a salty and…Heartbreakissue5 min readHeartbreakissue5 min read
Published inMatter·Sep 30, 2014The Ballad of Marine ToddWhy an endlessly recurring meme about an atheist professor and the “sick of this shit” marine who punches him is the internet’s real folk literature. — By David Roth12 min read12 min read
Published inThe Awl·May 13, 2014The Black Keys’ New Album: A Track-by-Track ReviewEveryone, or at least every critic with a serious emotional investment in statements like this, agrees: The Black Keys are the last true rock band left. Though derided by some as Sports Blues and by others as The Band From The TV Commercial For The Taco Bell Late-Night Menu, With…Music Appreciation3 min readMusic Appreciation3 min read
Published inThe Awl·Nov 29, 2012My Books Of Sad JewsAs National Novel Writing Month enters its final days, the next in our series about the novels that we started writing but, for whatever reason, never finished. There’s a novel I didn’t write, and another novel that I did. I’ll tell you about the second one first. It’s finished —…The Novel I Never Wrote6 min readThe Novel I Never Wrote6 min read
Published inThe Awl·Sep 17, 2012The First Video That Meant Something To Me: Wu-Tang Clan’s “Protect Ya Neck”Part of a series for the new Awl Music app. The longish story shorter about how I came to lose cable around the time I entered high school is that I was screwing up. Not in any sort of way that would alter my permanent record, or was anything…Awl Music4 min readAwl Music4 min read
Published inThe Awl·Feb 1, 2012They Play To Win The GameLast week, Animal Planet announced the rosters for Puppy Bowl VIII, the annual canine celebration of unmotivated running in circles and dead serious butt-sniffery that represents the best and most successful bit of Super Bowl counter-programming on record. While the VIII’th iteration of the Puppy Bowl will stick to the…Championships5 min readChampionships5 min read
